IVF success rates double when using HypnoFertility

With permission of the group admins I've just joined the IVF group on www.babycentre.co.uk. I approached them because I love supporting women on the HypnoBirth board and asked if they felt I could be of any help to women going through the IVF process.

I posted with a little introduction to myself and have been amazed at how many women have since sent me a message saying that they would love to know more. So here I am writing a blog post that I hope not only the women on the IVF board will find useful but also anyone else planning on, or in the midst of, IVF treatment.
It is first of all useful to understand what hypnosis is.

Hypnosis (the trance like state) is actually a state we move in and out of all of the time. When we drift off to sleep at night and wake up in the morning we move through the hypnogogic state, whilst daydreaming, lost in a good book or caught up in a great film we are in a state of trance. In fact any time we have our focussed attention on something we are likely to be in the state of hypnosis.

When we are fully conscious and aware we have a critical factor of the brain that acts as a filter. This filter is based on our belief system and causes us to analyse what is the best course of action for us in any one moment. When we move into a state of trance this becomes sidetracked and we therefore become more open to suggestions. This is important to be aware of because both positive and negative suggestions can get through. There is a lot of negative hypnosis about fertility. When a woman is having IVF how those in authority talk to her about what she will experience, how her body will respond and most importantly statistical chances of success can actually have a physical effect on her body.

Your subconscious mind is the part that runs your body (ie all of the functions we don't consciously control). It does this by responding to images that we create from everything we see, hear, read, talk about, think etc (we are not consciously aware we are doing this as it would drive us mad). Those images then evoke a set of emotions that tell the body what it needs to do. The subconscious primary role is to keep us safe and this is useful to be aware of when we are looking at any type of fertility issue because our reproductive processes are not part of our survival. If we have a lot of stress caused by our current life or events from our past (causing blocks that we may not necessarily be aware of) this can be interpreted by our subconscious as a message that we are in danger. In turn it can physically change what is going on in our body and prevent a woman from becoming pregnant. Even when a woman is having IVF treatment we want to ensure that the subconscious understands that she is 'safe' and in turn work with her treatment rather than against it.

So what does it feel like? That is like asking “how long is a piece of string?” Everyone experiences hypnosis in a different way. The most important thing is not to try, the more you try the more you will engage your conscious brain and will be less likely to move into the state of trance. You should simply set the intention to allow yourself to experience trance in a way that is just right for you. Instead of judging how you feel know that it is working for you, in the way that is best for you. Some people feel very heavy, others feel light and tingly and some feel nothing at all but are just aware of my voice or their own inner thoughts as they relax more deeply.

Okay on to some useful things whilst progressing through IVF treatment.

We've seen in the above explanation that your subconscious mind will respond to what you spend time focusing on so it is important prepare yourself emotionally before you commence IVF and have techniques to support you in maintaining a healthy mental attitude throughout. I would say up front though this is not about squashing difficult feelings down and walking around with a 'Polly Anna' smile on your face. This would be completely counterproductive. It is always important to experience difficult emotions but learn ways of not being overwhelmed by then.

Setting yourself a goal

Set a goal for how you want to feel throughout the process. For example 'feeling relaxed in my body and calm in my mind'. This goal will be completely personal to you. Then plot it on a scale.

0 - the worst you could feel. Based on the above example this might be 'experiencing so much tension body it hurts and constantly anxious and on the verge of tears.

10 - the best you can feel. 'Completely relaxed in my body, positive and able to progress through my day with confidence'

Plot on the scale where you are now and what you need in order to move you up the scale and stay there. This will help you maintain focus and track progress.

Practice relaxation

The following 5,4,3,2,1 mp3 gives you both a useful technique to use throughout the day to promote relaxation in the body and also provides a lovely progressive relaxation session to listen to regularly to help de-stress your mind and body.

Maintaining a healthy attitude

I always introduce 'Worry Time' to my clients. Find a 15 mins slot each day when you are allowed to worry. Let's say it is 8pm. Throughout the day if a worry turns up treat it like someone who has turned up early for an appointment. Imagine saying to them "what are you doing here, you are far too early, go away and come back at 8pm when our meeting is planned". This may make you feel a little silly but in turn it will help take the emotion out of the worry and move you past needing to in that moment. You have also acknowledged the feelings and so it will be easier to let it go knowing you can come back to it later. When you get to worry time if you want to have a good worry then do so but ONLY for 15 minutes. Then you need to 'change your state', by which I mean go and put on a fab bit of of music and dance around your front room, or have a cuddle with your partner, or a nice bath with candles - the important thing is to make it a treat and something that will completely change your mood.

Another useful technique is the cancel technique which will help you switch negative thoughts into positive ones.

Positive Imagining

You will find a detailed explanation of what I mean by this when reading about the cancel technique but here I want to specifically introduce the idea that you can use your imagination to enhance and work with your treatment. There is no need to use text book explanations for this remember your subconscious only understands imagery and emotion. All you need to do is use the 5,4,3,2,1 relax technique that you have learnt about previously to take yourself into a nice relaxing state of trance and then imagine that you are tiny enough to be inside your body (just let your imagination bring up whatever it wants - you will be surprised how easy this is). Then imagine how you want things to be. For example when thinking about your eggs imagine the best quality eggs you can. I've had clients say that they were in the supermarket and opening a box of eggs and making sure that they were all completely perfect. Another was painting hers like easter eggs and I've even had one imagine Faberge Eggs. You can imagine your uterus as the most wonderful home possible for your baby to grow. Some imagine a beautiful nursery, others luxurious textiles and colours. I've had clients do some redecoration or carried out a good spring clean. Again just allow your imagination to find things it wants to do. Don't judge what you are doing just follow what feels right.

Prior to egg collection and embryo transfer imagine everything going exactly as you want it to be. Prepare yourself to be as relaxed as you can by using 5,4,3,2,1 or listening to an mp3 if you can when at the clinic.

The two week wait

This can be a challenging and anxious time so think about some useful and enjoyable ways of spending this time. Creative tasks are especially effective for maintaining a healthy focus of attention.

Place a coloured dot on different things - your watch, phone, bathroom mirror, etc with the intention that every time you see one of these coloured dots they will trigger a positive visualisation, for example 'your baby is safe and settling in nicely in your womb'.

Spend time imagining your body accepting the embryos. All the other cells can have a welcoming party or you can see them with arms open wide and making space for them to settle in. Another lovely visualisation is to imagine them being placed in little car seats, safe and secure.

Practice relaxation every day and utilise the Worry Time and Cancel Technique.

Further support

For those of you reading this please feel free to ask me any questions about this both on reading or as you use the techniques I will be very happy to help. You can do these either on the comments section of this blog entry or on the IVF Baby Centre board.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

My plan is to write a complete IVF Support Programme (to be ready by August 2012) that will also include 'Fear and Emotion Release', "'Ego Strengthening' and specific mp3s for the different stages of treatment but I hope for now those embarking on IVF will find this blog post useful.

If I have sparked your curiosity and you would like to know more about HypnoFertility sessions please email me at dany@tums2mums.com. Should you require I offer a free half an hour consultation so that you can meet me and ask any questions you have.

I work successfully with clients both face-to-face and using Skype.

Is it fear or excitement?

Well maybe it is fear or maybe it is excitement and sometimes it is both.

What on earth are you talking about I hear you cry, but it really is an interesting question because unless we are in real danger (when of course it is absolutely right to feel fear so that we can get ourselves out of trouble) we can change the answer to suit what we want.

Think for a moment how you experience fear in your body.

Ok, now take some time to become aware of how you experience excitement in your body.

They are incredibly similar aren't they and once you realise this you can use it change your perception of something.

Words are very powerful if you say that you are scared about something then you will create images (consciously and/or subconsciously) that represent fear. Because your subconscious runs the body based on the emotions these images evoke it will actually make physiological changes in the body to get you ready for danger. This is only useful if you really are in trouble other than that it causes unnecessary stress on your mind, body and emotional well being.

However, if you say you are excited about something then you will create images that match that and trigger a whole different response within the mind and body.

Your subconscious doesn't know the difference between real or imagined events so the more we focus on the negative the more likely we are to take action that matches that negativity. If we are focussing on the positive it is a natural response to find ourselves responding more positively to what is going on in our lives.

Let's look at this from a birthing perspective. A woman who says she is frightened of her baby's upcoming birth will create images of horror stories she's heard, read about or seen. In turn this will prepare her body for a potentially difficult birth. A woman who perceives the physical sensations within her body as excitement will create images that match that excitement and in turn support her body in working as it should during labour and birth. It doesn't actually matter if at first she doesn't quite believe it because the more she focuses on excitement the law of repetition will ensure that in turn it becomes easier to believe. This is because the more we practice something the easier it becomes and in turn becomes a new way of thinking. Of course if we are thinking differently we create the images that support an easier, comfortable birth.

Change this way is easy the only hard thing is to actually do it. For a pregnant woman you can tap into the desire to have a better birth for you and your baby.

But this of course works for all areas of your life so be more aware from now on whether something is a real or a perceived fear. If it is only perceived tell yourself you are excited instead and notice how different that makes you feel.

Remember it may take practice, but if you tap into the desire that will ensure you want to make a change, the more you focus on excitement the more you will believe it to be true and in turn you will be surprised at the differences that this will make in your every day life.

Christmas Gift

I am sitting here feeling very smug and happy with myself, there are 10 days to go till Christmas and I have FINISHED all of my Christmas shopping. In fact I had actually completed buying all of my presents last Friday, although this may be due to the fact that I did most of it online so there was not too much dragging a toddler around Bluewater this year. I did however make one trip and for anyone shopping there last Friday I was the poor mum walking around with the giant dalmatian balloon floating just above my head!! Still it kept Evan happy and we just about made it through the day.

I then realised that there was one very important gift that I hadn't done yet and I am now sitting here at 5 in the morning sorting that too.

If you are pregnant I hope you enjoy my Cloak of Protection mp3 and benefit from the powerful yet simple technique it teaches you. If you are not pregnant please share this link with anyone that you know who is. You really will be giving them a fantastic present by letting them know about it.

Taken from the Tums 2 Mums

Hypno 4 Birth Home Study Programme

“Unfortunately for most women as they become pregnant their bump seems to become a glowing bright beacon for all and sundry to approach and share all their most awful and intimate stories about pregnancy, labour, birth and being a parent. The media, films, soaps and birth channels all know that calm, relaxed births are not ‘sensational’ TV and so rarely show good ones. Although ironically to watch a woman labouring calmly is the most sensational thing you could want to see.

I urge you not to get involved in negative conversations about birth, stop people in their tracks when they want to share a horror story and don’t be tempted by the birthing channels (there are plenty of wonderful hypno births to watch on You Tube).

However, as determined as you might be that you will not accommodate any of the above, sometimes you can hear or see something so quickly that you don’t have time to stop it and this is why I have included the ‘Cloak of Protection’ mp3 in this programme.

You will learn whilst listening to this mp3 how to place an invisible cloak of protection around yourself which will shield you from any negativity, causing it to bounce off of you and preventing the messages from becoming absorbed by your subconscious mind."

Please note that the link for this Christmas offer will be removed on the 6th January 2011.

I'd love to know how you enjoy it so please take the time to leave a comment on my blog.

Merry Christmas everyone xxx

Fab email from one of my Hypno 4 Birth Home Study Mums

This email made my day - I think it speaks for itself.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hi Dany,

I just wanted to say Thank you for the wonderful Home Study programme for Hypno-birthing and to tell you about my wonderful birth experience when my son was born on 21st May 2010 at 545am weighing 8lb 4oz.

When I found out I was pregnant, I was scared of how I would cope as I am terrified of hospitals and needles.

I decided to try the Hypno-birthing to change my fear beliefs.

As you predicted, lots of people wanted to tell me their horror stories of difficult labours, and I just smiled at them, convinced (brain-washed) that Hypno-birthing would make my experience different.

My hospital told me that I was not to go there until my contractions were 3-4minutes apart, so I knew I had to spend alot of the labour at home.

When my surges started, I listened to the Surges with the Sea and Fear Release and Natural Calm MP3s and practised the slow breathing.

After a few hours, the mucus plus came out, and I could feel my baby's head was so low down, that even though my contractions were still 5-6minutes apart, I had to get to the hospital. Although I wasn't in pain, just discomfort, and the contractions were not that strong.

When we arrived at the hospital, the midwife told me I was 7cm dilated! I was so relieved and excited. I was offered an epidural but I knew I would be able to get through without it, so I just had Gas and Air and my son was born 3.5 hours later.

During the last part of my labour, the midwife kept telling my husband how relaxed and calm I was (I was deep in slow-breathing meditation!), and the whole experience was just as I imagined it.

I'm so excited, that I just can't wait to start trying for baby number 2!

Thank you again Dany, your MP3s and affirmations were relaxing and soothing and I'm recommending them to my pregnant friends.

Regards,

Mel x

Feeling sad, frustrated and a little bit angry!

Considering my last post was driven by similar emotions it would appear, that despite not having much time to blog at the moment, when my feelings get adequately fired the words in my head shout loud enough to force my fingers to the keyboard.

So what has got me so fired up?

The comments made in response to the Mail Online article about a women who reported her labour on Twitter. I've given a taster below with some of my thoughts attached to them (in case you are unsure mine are the ones in italics ;-)):

"What a sad woman . Also it brings out all the mothers on here having to tell there storys, why ?? I bet you lot bore people to tears with your storys I am a Mum myself but don't feel the need of broadcasting my labour storys over the net."

I think any pregnant woman will tell you that sharing birth stories are not limited to those talking about their comfortable birth. It seems to me that a bump is like a homing beacon for all and sundry men and women alike to frighten the poor women with the worse stories possible.

"You are no better if you have drugs or no drugs.... Each to their own depends on the delivery...."

I agree with this and some of my 'mums' find that due to unforeseen circumstances they want drugs and some require assisted deliveries. The amazing difference between theirs and many of their friends stories is they still report their story in a positive light.

"Birth is a painful experience, VERY painful. I thought everyone knew that. So what myths did she dispel exactly?"

But it doesn't have to be and even when a woman does feel discomfort she can remain in control of that and therefore have a positive birth experience.

"I found this article extremely sad,and read it as a woman who needed to be "known". For goodness sake,how long will it be now before someone posts their labour on U-tube. "

Sorry to disappoint you but there already are - lots of great hypnobirths on You Tube which give confidence to many, many, many pregnant women every day.

"Fair play to her for having an easy labour - so did I...twice. despite the hospital's insistence that I deliver there due to mild hypertension, I had no complications whatsoever and minimal pain relief. i didn't assume the world would want to hear about it though.....and its not really fair to say this will dispel the myths of childbirth as everyone is different and shouldn't feel like a failure of their birth experience is not the same as this one and if they couldn't be bothered to tweet about it either!"

A great point is being missed here. She most certainly dispelled the myth that all births are awful which sooooooooooo many women love to share and sadly sooooooooo many women buy in to. It CANNOT be coincidence that the women who attend my HypnoBirthing(R) courses and those who have private Hypno 4 Birth sessions with me or work through my Hypno 4 Birth Home Study programme report back positive stories of birth.

"How could this woman ever dispel any myths just because something didn't happen at her own delivery? Scientists would have to use thousands of women and their experience over years of trials if they were to ever dispel a myth."

Continuing on from my point above i

t also CANNOT be coincidence that on the HypnoBirth Board for which I am co-admin on Baby Centre again the members report back positive story after positive story. No they are not all they same. No they do not all report back pain free births. No their births don't all follow the plan that was hoped for. But they are ALL positive stories of birth.

"My own labour took 67 hours from one end to the other as my son was lying in the posterior position which lengthens labour and makes it very much more painful. Thank the lord for painkilllers, although I still felt a lot of the pain, and ended up with a caesarian section anyway.

I've had clients have 4 day labours (I wouldn't wish it on anyone) however one of them was my best friend and when I saw her 1 hour after her daughter was born she looked as fresh as anyone might look after a normal day at work. She also told me off for not sharing with more women how AMAZING HypnoBirthing(R) is. With regards to the comment about a posterior labour being more difficult I think you only have to read this story on my site to see that this is not necessarily true (NEVER buy into absolutes about birth).

I think I will stop there as the more I read these negative comments the more frustrated I get.

I have taken a moment again to read the original article to check if this poor woman who dared to tweet her labour was doing so with a smug, look at me, I am so amazing tone and all I see is a woman who is desperately trying to share that birth doesn't have to be the scary, awful thing that far too many women fear.

I know the feeling of not being able to share a wonderful birth story. I had an amazing birth with Evan and when I tried to share it at my baby massage class (where we were all sharing our stories) I got that same feeling that the others in the room felt I was showing off. One of the reasons I set up my monthly Mums and Mums-to-be group was so that women could share their positive stories of birth in an environment in which they could enjoy doing so. Again I was getting fed up of my 'mums' telling me that they were also getting negative responses when they were trying to share their stories. WHY? when they were expected to endure everybody else's horror stories when they were pregnant with a smile on their face.

My previous post explains what I believe a perfect birth is and it clear that I do not see any women who wants to use drugs or requires intervention as a failure. I just find it incredibly sad that most women get more and more frightened as their labour approaches rather than feeling excited about the upcoming birth of their baby. And I find it increasingly frustrating that if only others were more open to listening to these wonderful stories that more women could consistently have better births.

It really CANNOT be a coincidence that women who use hypnosis statistically have better births without intervention and I CANNOT repeat that enough!!

Keep sharing your wonderful hypnobirthing stories. Whilst the numbers are still small there are more and more women willing to listen and in turn having great births. And with each great story there is another one waiting to happen.

The Perfect Birth

What's that then?

There have been quite a few posts and comments recently on the Baby Centre HypnoBirth Board about having or not having a perfect birth. Many of them start out with a post that friends and family believe that because they are planning a HypnoBirth they are setting themselves up for disappointment and they are being unrealistic about their expectations.

Then yesterday I had a client say to me that although she is wanting a natural birth, because she is considered high risk she doesn't want to only focus on having a perfect birth in case it just isn't possible. So we explored together what a perfect birth is because preparing for a HypnoBirth isn't about having a short, calm, comfortable natural labour and birth free of intervention (although of course many achieve this) it is about empowerment. Couples taking control of their birth experience, having the confidence to ask appropriate questions and making decisions based on the answer that are right for them, not anyone else. Not what I would do (or any other practitioner they have attended classes with), nor their doctor, midwives, friend, sister and so on. What is right for them.

• The perfect birth is the birth that is right for mum and baby on the day.
• The perfect birth is one in which the couple look back upon and know that all decisions were theirs.
• The perfect birth is one in which mum and dad felt they were always in control of even if that meant making the decision to hand over to the experts because there were special circumstances.

I don't get 100% feedback that births played out in the way that was desired but I do get 100% feedback that the techniques are useful no matter what and that is the true value of HypnoBirthing.

How can that be setting a woman up for disappointment?

The Law of Attraction and where have I been?

Before I begin this post I just want to say sorry it has been such a long time coming. It is a shame that I've not had time to post recently but on the positive side that is because I've been incredibly busy supporting couples through Fertility, Pregnancy, Birth and Beyond. I wrote earlier in the year that I wanted harmony in my life and through writing that post came to realise that of course I could have that any time by creating harmony in my life. So I made my peace with not having the time to post on my blog and let it be for a while.

Then recently Jim (my husband) and I have embarked on a journey of abundance through following a workbook on the Law of Attraction. I often say that I always get what I need, when I need it and that I use the Law of Attraction whenever I want more clients (and it works) but when how it worked finally clicked with Jim he decided that I had not been thinking big enough.

So every day we work on abundance - more wealth, more health, more vitality, more love, more time, more energy, more, more more and more.....(you get the idea) and it is working, so here I am with the time to write in my blog.

So whilst I am here let me share with you what got Jim and I all fired up on the wider application of The Law of Attraction and it is a book quite simply named "The Law of Attraction" by Esther and Jerry Hicks

Three words – A MUST READ!

In the foreword we read “I’m telling you that you are holding in your hands the best proof you could ever give yourself that the Law of Attraction is real, is effective, and produces physical outcomes in the real world”. Now I 100% believe in the Law of Attraction and have seen the proof of it myself time and time again but even I had to smile to myself at this because it sounded so clichéd. But I was smiling in a whole different way when I began to read the book and realised that it was all about emotions. I have over the last few months been doing a great deal of research into emotions but had not expected on buying this book that this would be part of that research, so yes it was indeed more proof of the law of attraction for me.

If I’m honest I wasn’t really expecting to read anything new but oh how I was wrong. In an amazingly simple read you really are giving the tools and instructions to make wonderful changes in your life. As a hypnotherapist understanding how being fully engaged in something will sidetrack the conscious, analytical mind making suggestions more easily acceptable, I would go as far as to say that the words on the page were hypnotic because of the emotions that they evoked. I have found that since reading the book I am making changes in my every day life not by trying, not through any hard work but simply because they make sense.

I have created such excitement around the book that not only are Jim and I on this journey of abundance but my sister is now reading it, a friend keeps asking when it will be available for her to read and another friend has bought her own copy. I've now bought two spare copies just so I can give it out to friends when I get them excited about it and I can’t wait to discuss it with them all.

There will be those that are not ready to read this book but to those I would say find something small to test out what you are reading, once you have succeeded with that test out something else and then something else and so on.

There maybe others that might be put off by the idea that the message is channelled through Esther and are in fact the teachings of Abraham. To those I would say let go of where the message has come from and focus on the teachings themselves.

I can’t rave about this book enough. I feel the need to repeat – A MUST READ!

So there it is a short, simple post that I hope you enjoy and take something from. I've got another post brewing in my mind so there won't be quite such a long wait for the next one :-).