The Law of Attraction and where have I been?

Before I begin this post I just want to say sorry it has been such a long time coming. It is a shame that I've not had time to post recently but on the positive side that is because I've been incredibly busy supporting couples through Fertility, Pregnancy, Birth and Beyond. I wrote earlier in the year that I wanted harmony in my life and through writing that post came to realise that of course I could have that any time by creating harmony in my life. So I made my peace with not having the time to post on my blog and let it be for a while.

Then recently Jim (my husband) and I have embarked on a journey of abundance through following a workbook on the Law of Attraction. I often say that I always get what I need, when I need it and that I use the Law of Attraction whenever I want more clients (and it works) but when how it worked finally clicked with Jim he decided that I had not been thinking big enough.

So every day we work on abundance - more wealth, more health, more vitality, more love, more time, more energy, more, more more and more.....(you get the idea) and it is working, so here I am with the time to write in my blog.

So whilst I am here let me share with you what got Jim and I all fired up on the wider application of The Law of Attraction and it is a book quite simply named "The Law of Attraction" by Esther and Jerry Hicks

Three words – A MUST READ!

In the foreword we read “I’m telling you that you are holding in your hands the best proof you could ever give yourself that the Law of Attraction is real, is effective, and produces physical outcomes in the real world”. Now I 100% believe in the Law of Attraction and have seen the proof of it myself time and time again but even I had to smile to myself at this because it sounded so clichéd. But I was smiling in a whole different way when I began to read the book and realised that it was all about emotions. I have over the last few months been doing a great deal of research into emotions but had not expected on buying this book that this would be part of that research, so yes it was indeed more proof of the law of attraction for me.

If I’m honest I wasn’t really expecting to read anything new but oh how I was wrong. In an amazingly simple read you really are giving the tools and instructions to make wonderful changes in your life. As a hypnotherapist understanding how being fully engaged in something will sidetrack the conscious, analytical mind making suggestions more easily acceptable, I would go as far as to say that the words on the page were hypnotic because of the emotions that they evoked. I have found that since reading the book I am making changes in my every day life not by trying, not through any hard work but simply because they make sense.

I have created such excitement around the book that not only are Jim and I on this journey of abundance but my sister is now reading it, a friend keeps asking when it will be available for her to read and another friend has bought her own copy. I've now bought two spare copies just so I can give it out to friends when I get them excited about it and I can’t wait to discuss it with them all.

There will be those that are not ready to read this book but to those I would say find something small to test out what you are reading, once you have succeeded with that test out something else and then something else and so on.

There maybe others that might be put off by the idea that the message is channelled through Esther and are in fact the teachings of Abraham. To those I would say let go of where the message has come from and focus on the teachings themselves.

I can’t rave about this book enough. I feel the need to repeat – A MUST READ!

So there it is a short, simple post that I hope you enjoy and take something from. I've got another post brewing in my mind so there won't be quite such a long wait for the next one :-).

Living Fully in the Present Moment

It has been quite some time since I've been able to sit down quietly and write a blog entry. I've been so busy running around after Evan (quite literally sometimes), seeing clients, running courses, writing new materials for my online shop, seeing friends, being a wife, a daughter, a mum, etc, etc, etc...... often all at the same time.

But then something stopped me in my tracks and made me really want to write a new blog entry (although I must confess it has taken me over a week to get round to doing it). And what was that something I hear you ask..... Well I was driving home after dropping Evan off at nursery, it is a 30 minutes drive so I often get lost in thoughts of everything that I have to do but as I keep missing my turn offs when I do this (I have a habit of just driving in a straight line when I get too distracted, it must be my subconscious way of keeping me safe) I decided to turn the radio on.

I'm a big Chris Moyles fan so I went straight for Radio 1 but they were about to do the 'car park challenge' which I hate so I switched over and found myself on Radio 2. Now my poor mum has not been able to cope since she lost her cherished Terry Wogan for Chris Evans so I thought I'd stick around for a while and have a listen and find out what she keeps complaining about. I'm not sure whether I caught him on a tame day or he's getting old and just seems tame compared to Moyles but I started enjoying the show (so maybe I'm getting old alongside him).

Anyway back to what stopped me in my tracks. He had a guest on the show talking about how at a recent conference he'd attended he'd noticed how so many people were using their Blackberrys, and Iphones and were texting, emailing and tweeting rather than giving their focussed attention to the speaker. He went on to say that some recent research carried out by neuroscientists in an American University have found that we are not wired up to multi task. That our brains have limited capacity for processing information and it is impossible to focus on 2 things at the same time and be fully responsive to what is going on. Now this is not news to me as a hypnotherapist and one of the first things I teach my clients is that they can't focus on two thoughts at the same time and how the cancel technique uses this to their advantage. The thing that struck me was when he said that he felt that this was very much in line with the ancient wisdom that we should try and live fully in the present moment.

I hate the word should and I hate the word try and this sentence made me fully realise why. Like so many people I am constantly multi-tasking and not really giving enough attention to specific things. This 'should' made me feel guilty and the 'try' made me feel like a failure (which is why I won't let my clients use these words). So once I'd learned what I needed to from these emotions I decided that the next day I would live in the present moment (I had to get my head round it first ;-)).

My biggest sense of guilt came from not being in the present moment when I was with Evan and as it was Tuesday and we always have a morning at home together I started with her. To fully appreciate this I need to take you on a little side story (hopefully you are used to the way I ramble on by now). Evan has been getting quite 'pushy' around other kids, we thought it had stopped so I was very upset to find it had started again. When I got home from dropping her at the nursery I did a search for google "desperate mum kid hitting" - now I realise as I write this I could have got any number of odd results but as often is the case I found exactly what I was looking for, and what I learned very clearly highlighted that I would need to be fully in the present moment to make any of it work. So every time I was with Evan for the next two days I was completely in the moment with her and do you know what, we had sooooooooo much fun. She hadn't suddenly become perfect but I did the things that I'd learned and every time instead of a battle of wills we'd end up laughing. And what's more when I arrived to pick Evan up from nursery on Thursday (she goes on Monday and Thursday mornings) Evan had earned a huge star for playing so nicely and the staff commented on what a change they'd seen in her.

I must confess I've slipped a little and I've seen a change in Evan's behaviour so tomorrow I choose again to be fully in the present moment whenever I am with her. My aim is to keep practicing until it becomes second nature to do this around her and in turn in other areas of my life. I would add at this point that this doesn't mean she has to have 100% of my attention 100% of the time (to learn more about what I've been doing have a read for yourself and watch the video clip at the end).

There is so much distraction in our lives but apart from the wonderful change I saw in Evan I was amazed to find that I didn't get any less done and I had so much more energy. It is bloody tiring multi-tasking and now it has been proving why - we are actually overloading our circuits when we are doing it.

I'd love to read your comments on this - whether you've given this post your full and focussed attention or have been multi-tasking whilst reading let me know your thoughts.

Harmony in mind and body

Regular readers to my blog and in fact anyone who knows me either professionally or personally will know that I strive to create harmony in the mind both for myself and others. In fact when my pal Claire Lancaster set me the task of writing about my Theme Word for 2010 I was drawn to writing about wanting more Harmony in my life.

However, of late I've begun wondering more about feeling harmony within my body. Recently I've had a lot of aches, very tense muscles and feeling bloated and then finally last week I put my back out. This hasn't happened since before I had Evan and was the final straw that made me realise that there is complete disharmony in my body at the moment. Sadly this has begun to leak into how I feel in myself and I've been noticeably more irritable, mainly to my husband and close family cos I hide it well to everyone else, but I'm having to check my mood and working a bit too hard to remain calm and relaxed and so it is time to do something.

This has coincided with the desire to become a bit lighter. I'm pretty much the weight I was before I got pregnant with Evan but I know that I would feel better if I was at least another stone lighter. Which for now will be my goal.

However, I've never done well with diets in fact I'd say I've never really been on one. I'd maybe think about going on a diet and even joined Slimming World once but they are not for me. As I start thinking about structuring foods into 'good and bad' or 'free foods and those with points' it just makes me focus on how much I want the thing that is perceived to be nicer than the good/free stuff. Even if it would never normally be a food I'd think much about. Now don't get me wrong I think weight loss approaches such as Slimming World have come a long way and I believe make it so much easier for many women they just don't work with regards to my attitude to food.

For me I find that if I tap into when I actually need food rather than just wanting it, my emotional attachment to food and how food makes me feel physically that I have more success. I want to do more for my body this year. It works so hard for me I thought I really should give something back. But when I thought about what that meant and the whole "you are what you eat" business it felt a bit overwhelming and I almost stopped at the first hurdle, back to worrying, like diets, it would just make me focus on foods that I 'shouldn't' be eating. But then I read a review of a book (not necessarily a book I'll get but maybe!) and the writer stated that what they loved was the way the book helped you to change gradually and I had one of those light bulb moments. Of course I don't have to make all the changes at once and as I'm not fixated on exactly how much I want to get lighter each week there is no pressure either. So for this week I am going to make two simple changes.

Beyond my first cup of tea, with milk and sugar, of the day (which Jim brings me in bed just before going to work) I am going to go back to how I used to be before I had Evan and not have any more. In fact when I was in a 9-5 job I barely had a cup of tea a month let alone every day just loads and loads of water. Instead I'm going to drink water like I used to and have lovely hot drinks like Camomile and Honey and Lemon and Ginger. Actually on the box of the Lemon and Ginger it says it brings harmony to the body and I'm feeling pretty good as I sit here drinking it. It is most likely my emotional response to the drink rather than it actually bringing harmony to my body at this moment (especially as it is the first one I've drunk) but hey I don't care I'm feeling good and enjoying my drink. That is what I want to have more of from my food and so the other change for this week will be to eat more fruit. Every time I give Evan some fruit I will have some myself also (it is ludicrous that I've not done this up till now).

I will keep you updated on how I'm getting on little steps, little changes each and every week and how I'm feeling both in body and mind.

I wonder what it will be next week?

From one mum to another

Hi there

I am writing this post for a mum that I've never met before but is part of the wonderful HypnoBirth community that I belong to on Baby Centre. I will leave her to tell you more.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hi everyone, I am mummy to Alex, Charlotte and Sophia and I'm now here asking for your help to spread the word about a little boy who is in need of our help.

His name is Jamie Inglis and he is 4 years old, he has just finished his 8th lot of high dose chemo and needs to go to America for further treatment to save his life.

I am going to be jumping out of a plane to try and help the family reach the £250 000 that they need for Jamies treatment, I am Jumper RED 9 and am really strugelling to get sponsors, so I am asking for your help please, there is no minimum sponsor, anything is very much appreciated, together we can help save his life, hes just 4 years old!

If any of you can sponsor me, please can you put in the message that its for RED 9, it is very quick and easy to do.

There is a Jamie Inglis Appeal page on facebook where you can follow Jamies story so far.

And here is the link to the Jump for Jamie sponsor and donations page, please please help by either sponsoring or just spreading the word.

http://www.justgiving.com/JUMP-FOR-JAMIE

Thanks in advance ladies, anything and everything helps :)

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

As Alex says absolutely any amount will help however small so if you can donate that would be really great.

This one is for me

There is no other way of saying it because I'm posting this pure and simply because I want to win some free jewellery. And not just any old jewellery I might add but a fabulous piece, worth up to £150, of ones own choosing from the Chambers and Beau new collection.

The only problem is that in order to enter I have to tell all of my readers about it and so if you like beautiful jewellery too then you will enter reducing my chances of winning.

So if by some small chance you want to find out how you can enter the big C&B giveaway click here

Harmony

My lovely pal Claire Lancaster recently tagged me with a meme #themewords. It doesn't matter if you don't know what a meme is, actually I haven't a clue why they are called meme's or who started them off, the key point of this particular one is that I've been asked to write about my Theme Word for 2010. A word to describe how I would like my year ahead to be.

Claire writes that allegedly your #themeword can unfold in unexpected ways and then having chosen the word Enjoyment demonstrates this beautifully. Now I must confess my first thought was "well you've gone and picked the best word already haven't you" and grumbled away to myself that I'd felt like I'd been set a piece of unwanted homework. However, that night lying in bed I found myself pondering over what my #themeword would be.

When I started this post my #themeword was balance but as I was putting my thoughts down on paper (well screen) it didn't feel right. As I wrote things like balance between work and family, time for me and time for Evan, time for me and time for Jim and so on it just felt that everything was one big compromise. What I realised I wanted was not balance but Harmony.

It is so easy to get things out of perspective when we've got a lot going on. I didn't have 'enough' time last year and I will not have 'enough' time this year and most probably the years after that to get everything done that I want to do. The things that had to get done were done, as were so many other things, and I am incredibly lucky as everything I have to do I want to do which surely is a great thing (if you read back in my blog you'll see I got rid of my cleaning and ironing chores quite a long time ago and believe me that was a 'life saver').

I love being a wife, a mother, a sister the sort of friend that my friends know they can call at any time and talk for hours about the same thing they called about the week before. I love my work and knowing that my clients gain so much from working with me, that strangers I've helped on sites like Baby Centre and Twitter send me such lovely messages of thanks. I love that Jim and I are both committed to each other to our family and doing the very best for Evan. I love chatting with my Twitter pals and getting lost writing a blog entry, working on a new hypnosis script and recording a new mp3. I love....... you get the point.

There are so many wonderful things in my life - do I remember this all of the time NO! Is life perfect all the time NO and boy wouldn't it be very boring if it was. When I focus on what is great with my world does it make me feel wonderful YES! Do I want more ABSOLUTELY, but it doesn't mean that there isn't Harmony in my life now. Harmony in my life comes from Harmony in my mind. It is already there I just have to notice it.

I'm not sure if this post makes total sense but the statement that your #themeword can unfold in unexpected ways sure is true.

And tomaaaaatoooooo!!!!

Has she gone mad you ask yourself. The excesses of Christmas addled her brain???

No! There is a very simple explanation for the odd title to this post. For those of your who have heard my free mp3 you will know that it has been designed for you to quickly access a deep state of relaxation by taking a nice deep relaxing breath in and as you breathe out see, sense or imagine the numbers 5,4,3,2,1 reeeeeeeelax!

Recently I've decided to actually say the numbers out loud when I'm practising this as I feel it may help Evan (2.5 years old) calm and relax too. The little comedienne that she is promptly repeats after me 1,2,3,4,5 "pause for comedic effect" tomaaaaatoooooo (why tomato I do not know). She then proceeds to give out a great big belly laugh because she knows she's done something funny.

Either way it works though because laughter stimulates endorphins and makes you feel good and it acts as a useful distraction if she's previously been a little monkey ;-)

It's Competition Time!!!

I have put together this competition as I am hoping to help a very good friend of mine. Caz Arnold aka @dougggie who happens to be a HypnoBirthing practitioner (although this isn’t relevant here) sadly lost her father very suddenly on Christmas day. The reason I am posting this is that Caz is currently in the middle of raising money for the Dogs Trust Arctic Dogs Sledding Challenge but as I am sure you can imagine this has knocked her sideways and she is currently unable to put much energy in to it.

The prize - 3 lucky entrants will win my complete 5 x Hypnosis for Childbirth mp3s worth £26. If you'd like to find out more about these mp3s click here

To enter - All I ask is that you click on Caz’s fund raising link at the bottom of this page and put a minimum (more if you want) donation of £2. All names will then be entered into a draw. In order for me to be able to contact you if you win please ensure that you put the following information in the comments box when making your donation:

Tums2Mums competition and either your Baby Centre or Twitter ID. If you do not have either of these please leave your name and then tick the box that enables Caz to see your email address and she will then forward your email address to me. Your email address WILL NOT be passed on to anyone other than myself.

The competition will close at midnight on 9th January and the winners will be announced on this blog on the 10th January. Notices will also be placed on the HypnoBirth board of Baby Centre UK and Twitter.

To enter and make your donation please click here http://www.justgiving.com/cazarnold/

Thank you for helping me help my lovely friend help a worthy cause.

Merry Christmas

To all my lovely readers and followers of my blog I hope you have

a wonderful day today and a very happy New Year!

x x x x

Hypno Mummy to become a G-d Mummy too

First the back story.....

Clare (Little Yummy Bags) and I met 3 years ago almost exactly to the day when she attended the first day of her HypnoBirthing course on 7th October 2006. Fate stepped in right from that very first meeting to ensure that we would become friends because it was also the course that my husband was on to learn all about HypnoBirthing for the birth of our daughter Evan. The other couple due to attend unfortunately had to attend the hospital that morning (all was well) and so asked if I could move them on to the next course. This meant that it was just the four of us. Clare and I and our partners Piers and Jim (respectively).

The course was great fun particularly because Piers and Jim are remarkably similar and both having a wicked sense of humour meant there was a lot of laughter.

Fast forward to around August 2007. Due to our busy professional lives Clare and I had not had much contact since the course, beyond some support regarding the HypnoBirthing, but once Evan was born and we were both on maternity leave we thought it was about time we met up. I went to visit Clare with a 2 month old Evan and as Clare was just a bit ahead of me with a 6 month old Hannah we had lots to talk about (an opportunity for me to pick up some hints and tips from a mum just ahead of me - something I recommend for my clients to do if they can). We didn't stop talking , sitting their breastfeeding our beautiful girls and chatting like we'd known each other for years. It was wonderful. But no sooner had we got used to the fact that we lived around the corner from each other and what great friends we were becoming Clare and Piers decided to move to Canterbury (not a million miles away from Sidcup I know but an hour in the car and Evan at the time was an awful traveller). Luckily for me though Clare was happy to make the drive more times than was fair and so our friendship blossomed.

So it was of course a natural thing for me to do a refresher HypnoBirthing session with Clare and Piers when they became pregnant with their second child. I had mentioned how much I would love to be at the birth and was overjoyed when Clare said that they were both happy for me to be there. Unfortunately, I was on the wrong side of the door when Madeleine arrived because Clare left it a little too late to call me (she was so calm and relaxed that she had no idea she was in such an advanced stage of labour - you can read her story here). But I saw Madeleine within minutes of her birth and stayed with Clare and Piers for a few hours afterwards and this time is now one of my most treasured memories. It was such an honour to be with them during such a special time. Also, I should mention that Piers had captured the labour and birth on film and so I did get to see it and because of that so will my clients too (a great confidence booster for them).

Now a few months on and Clare and Piers are planning little Madelaine's Baptism and I had the most wonderful surprise today when Clare came over for a visit as she has asked me to be Madelaine's G-d Mother (well I kind of gave that away with the heading didn't I).

I cannot tell you all how incredibly happy, excited, proud and honoured I feel to have been asked.

Of course I've said YES!!!!

My very own Hypno Mummy mugs

I am very pleased to announce that the wonderful Helen of www.icklebabe.com has designed especially for Tums 2 Mums some gorgeous Hypno Mummy mugs.

I left the design completely up to her so it was a lovely surprise to find that she had chosen to take inspiration from my website. I think you will agree with me they are fab!

Helen has also designed a Hypno Daddy mug but I haven't seen that yet - can't wait!

IT geeks make good husbands

I want to shout out a huge big thank you to my wonderful husband. From a technical perspective I don't know what I would do without him. We have recently changed our internet provider and with that Jim chose to also change how he hosts my website. He did this for a number of reasons but one of them was so that I would be able to place my downloadable mp3s on my own site rather than skydrive where they are currently. This way the pages that they sit on will be Tums 2 Mums branded and in my opinion will all look a lot more professional.

Now because this now meant the server that my website is hosted on is no longer in our house I have to publish it in a different way. Unfortunately, something got lost in translation and all my spaces, pound signs and other symbols turned into little question marks. There were loads scattered over every page. My darling husband however wasn't phased and as usual found a solution. Problem solved.

Jim really does put so much work into making sure everything works when it comes to my email (including access on my phone), my website and any other technical problem that rears its ugly head. Stuff that would be so tiresome for me if not impossible in many cases should I have to deal with them myself.

Thanks darling.

Teaching dads how to use massage during pregnancy and labour

I have just returned from a wonderful trip to Devon. It was a nice few days away with Jim and Evan in a beautiful cottage set amongst an amazing backdrop of rolling hills all green and lush (not surprising really with the amount of rain we had) but beautiful nonetheless.

But the best part of it was (no offense family) my lovely day spent with Katie Whitehouse of Vital Touch. I had booked a course with her to learn how to teach dads to use massage during pregnancy and labour. It was supposed to be a group course but luckily for me, as a group of midwives had transferred on to her December course, it turned out to be just for me. I'm proud to say that Katie felt it was meant to be and appeared to enjoy our day together too (which is brilliant because of course for her it meant putting in the same amount of effort but for a lot less cash).

I felt totally relaxed and at ease the second I met Katie as she peered over the top of the stairs to greet me in the lovely relaxing Vital Touch premises. We chatted about ourselves for a bit getting to know each other and quickly realising how much we had in common and then we moved on to the more structured part of the day. Although, it quickly became unstructured as at almost every turn we found how similar our teachings were, Katie using the power of touch and me teaching how powerfully we can use our minds. So we kept digressing and sharing stories and were busy scribbling extra notes on how each ones specialism could support what we were teaching with our own.

First and foremost we are both teaching how a relaxed mother (through hypnosis and/or massage) will be able to inhibit the production of the stressor hormone that will cause the muscles of the uterus to constrict and tighten and in turn cause great pain. Both hypnosis and massage can then further promote the stimulation of endorphins the body's natural pain relief (200 times the effect of morphine). Also, when your endorphins are fully stimulated during labour and birth they will actually help prevent your nerve cells from releasing pain signals in the first place.

Katie found it interesting how in HypnoBirthing we use 'anchors' (attaching the touch of the dads hand on the shoulder and the sound of his voice to a wonderfully relaxed state that can then be easily and quickly triggered during labour). There is a beautiful massage technique Katie calls the heart which can so easily include the shoulder anchor. Katie also suggests that the dads use gentle, loving prompts (as we do in HypnoBirthing reinforcing the anchor to the partners voice) as they are administering the massage. We then went on to discuss how smell can also trigger certain memories, feelings and emotional states. I had noticed that I kept drifting back to my front room as I was sitting listening to Katie and I soon realised that it was because I could smell her lovely massage oils that I had bought to sell in my online shop. So we went on to discuss how we could help women using smell. Because the labour massage oil contains clary sage which cannot be used until a pregnant woman is full term Katie advised that it would be lovely to burn a combination of sweet orange and lavender during my courses (and couples could also choose to do that when practising too). As lavender is also part of the blend in the labour massage oil it would therefore help to remind the mum of being in a lovely state of relaxation. Also, if she is not birthing at home it will bring some of her home comfort with her into the hospital room or midwife led unit.

Bringing the couple closer together and giving the dad the opportunity to feel a much bigger part of the pregnancy and labour is also another valuable benefit of using massage as too is the pre-natal bonding that occurs. I teach couples during the HypnoBirthing classes that babies can respond to what is going on in their environment and massage is another beautiful way for the dads to spend time bonding with their babies.

Katie asked me what had inspired me to attend the course. I said that when I had attended part of my friends labour I had found that sometimes there was either no room for or no need for words. I had simply laid a hand to show support, comfort or reassurance. It was really up to her to take on whatever message she chose from my touch. I could have inadvertently said something that didn't match her experience but with touch this couldn't happen. This is something that I now make dads very aware of although I also remind them that if the mum doesn't want to be touched at a particular time that they shouldn't take offense. When I'd found Katie's course I thought aha that is the missing link! There really is such a harmony between the use of hypnosis and massage during pregnancy and labour and I can't wait to start teaching it to my couples.

When we got on to the practical elements of the course Katie taught me how to teach dads extremely simple but incredibly effective massage techniques. How do I know how wonderful they are? Because Katie taught me by letting me experience them. Well I wanted to stop the course right there and then and just book a massage session - it was amazing. So quick, so simple, sooooooooooooooo lovely.

I left fully prepared with a set of course notes and a powerpoint training presentation all of which Katie said I could and should adapt to work with my hypnosis techniques. I am incredibly excited and looking forward to having some time this week to pull together what I have learnt and perhaps write a new script that will work beautifully with some of the lovely visualisations that Katie has included.

I'm going to be meeting up with one of my HypnoBirthing couples this weekend and will be giving them a freebie session to practise my new skills. And if I'm incredibly lucky and the timings work out I will be attending the birth of another HypnoBirthing mum and so will be able to teach her husband 'on the job' so to speak. I will of course be posting more details of these as and when they happen.

If you are pregnant, or a dad keen to learn more about the power of massage for pregnancy and labour, look out for details of my new great course "Teaching dads how to use massage during pregnancy and labour" that I will soon be adding to my site http://www.tums2mums.com/.

If you are a Doula or an antenatal teacher be it HypnoBirthing, NCT, NHS or other check out http://www.vitaltouch.com/cgi-bin/vt.cgi?usr=65253&page=courses-2day.html

Take a breath - good advice :-)

I've just had a very lovely chat with a Kent journalist wanting to write an article about the work that I do.

He asked me the simple question "tell me about your business?" The thing is there is soooooooo much to tell and I get sooooooo excited when I'm telling it that in the end the poor man had to ask me to take a breath - hahahaha.

I asked him if he was the hypnotherapist as it was good advice. I took a breath and put on my 'Hypnomummy' persona and slowed down. But then I got all excited again and sped up. His poor hand was aching trying to keep up with me even with 'shorthand'. I can't help it the excitement just pours out of me and as I'm saying one thing there are a million other things running through my brain saying 'pick me, pick me'. My tongue like the journalists hand just can't keep up.

I hope I gave him enough good information though about the work that I do as I would love to raise more awareness of all of the elements of my work. Hypnosis is proven to double success rates of IVF and increase natural conception by 30% and the work that I have been doing with women is proving that. I love nothing more than seeing a woman overcome those annoying and sometimes more serious ailments of pregnancy and if only I could reach out to many, many more women and change their birth stories for them before they have even happened I would be a very, very happy Hypnomummy.

The sun will come out tomorrow

I have no idea why that title came into my head other than I'm too tired to think straight tonight but really wanted to make a blog entry.

I know what the next topic for my blog is going to be - 'poo' breathing, I mean 'birth' breathing - either way no forced pushing.

All will be revealed tomorrow - although they do say tomorrow never comes!

Twitter Two

I've attempted a silly play on words up there in the title but feel the need to explain.

I am having a second attempt at getting my head around Twitter - hence 'Twitter' and 'Two' and I love owls so I kind of made it sound like an owl. Or for those who are in the know when it comes to owls you need two owls to hear the twit and the twoo because one says twit and the other says twoo. Oh my goodness if you are still with me on this post I congratulate you :-)

Anyway my love of owls has inspired the name of my new online shop, HypnoWise, which isn't launching for a few month yet (I've got a juicy project lined up to launch it and it is going to take a bit of time). I'll of course let you know when it is ready though.

http://twitter.com/Tums2Mums

I feel like I'm on holiday today

I'm on week two of having a cleaner and I already do not have any idea how I used to manage without Inga.

What a beautiful day it is today and instead of poor Evan having to traipse round after me whilst I clean the house (nowhere near to the standard that Inga does it I might add) we were out in the garden. For those of you who know me you will be surprised to hear that I actually enjoyed doing some gardening and I now have a flower bed that actually looks like a flower bed. If this carries on I shall have to change my name to HypnoFifi.

Because the sun was shining so beautifully Evan and I were smothered in sun cream and the last time I needed that was when were were on holiday in Portugal last year and the smell took me straight back there. Our ability to attach smells, sounds, touch, etc to particular memories and in turn feelings is something that is often used in hypnotherapy but I'll talk more about that at another time.

Anyway there I am back in Portugal, in my mind (hahahaha - this has triggered of another memory - this time a funny one of an Eddy Izzard sketch where he keeps saying "in my mind" - you'll smile at this point if you know the sketch I mean), when I decided to come in and make Evan and I some lunch. And the house was all beautiful and clean and it gave me that same lovely feeling you get when you return to your hotel room and the maid (do they still call them maids? Doesn't sound right) has been.

After lunch Evan and I had a bath, in the middle of the day no less, to clean off the sun cream and she is now fast asleep and I'm chilling on the sofa with a breeze drifting through the open patio doors.

I am sure you can feel the relaxed happy mood that I am in just oozing off of the screen as you read this. Oh how different my Fridays are now. I hope all my readers are having such a lovely Friday as I am and have a great weekend too.

If anyone lives near me and needs a cleaner I would strongly recommend http://www.homestarcleaning.co.uk/

Cleaning lady brings harmony back to Blackfen Road!

One of the sections on my website http://www.tums2mum.com/ is headed up 'Are you a Happy Mum?'.

It goes on to talk about how being a parent is the most important job in the world. And for the many challenges and demands mums deal with on a daily basis they deserve an award (I'm not leaving out the fact that dads do an amazing job too but for now we're talking about me and I'm a mum). I go on to ask the question, 'so why do so many mums feel stressed-out, guilty and inadequate?' And then I help these mums (and dads too) see that it doesn’t have to be that way, that they can find a balance and enjoy all elements of their life.

So why then did I think that I could do it all without any help?

I look after Evan from 6am in the morning to 6pm at night. Taking her to Mums & Tots, Sing and Sign and Swimming. I cook the dinner, do the washing, the ironing (well not Jim's shirts - I'm not that great and I don't even feel guilty about it) and all the housework (although the floor hasn't been mopped for weeks and I don't feel guilty about that either). Although I should say at this point that Jim is always happy, well maybe not happy, willing though to help but I thought "no, I'm at home so I might as well do it so we can have family time when he gets in from work". But I've been too tired to enjoy that time! I see clients most weekends, Saturdays and Sundays and often 2 or 3 evenings during the week from 7pm for a couple of hours and always put 110% into this wonderful work because it is my passion and I love every minute of it.

But I am not superwoman - quite a shock for me to find that out I might add.

And lately I've been feeling guilty (ah! so there is guilt) about the amount of time I've been spending on my laptop working. I've been feeling overly irritable (and yet more guilt rears its ugly head) with Evan just because she is being a typical nearly 2 year old. I've been really having to work hard at not showing that to her and not always achieving that (yep more guilt!). I've been feeling lonely and missing Jim because we haven't been getting to spend any quality time together (and I've even been feeling guilty about that - though not so much - just p'd off cos I miss him).

Was I surprised then to find myself blubbing at the kitchen sink the other day when Jim having seen I needed a break had whisked Evan off to the park? No, I was exhausted!

So I looked at the typical benefits that I say women can gain through working with me and I decided to do some work on myself. Here's what I did:

• More time for yourself - Definitely feeling like there wasn't enough time in the day. So I took some time (yes even though there was an apparent shortage of it) to recognise when during the day I did have some time to myself. I was quite surprised that there was quite a lot of opportunity for me to have some space. So then I set the intention to appreciate that whether I worked or relaxed during this time was my decision and to enjoy whatever I chose.


• Improved relationships - As soon as I recognised things weren't working things improved. I had a chat with a good mate and asked Jim for more help and I felt loads better. Jim and I have been laughing more and I'm loving my time with Evan again.


• Better work/life balance - the scales definitely needed addressing. I've been leaving my laptop in the study so when it is Evan time - 'it is Evan time'. Then when she is having her nap or Jim is home and looking after her I go upstairs and have a break and enjoy spending time doing some work instead of feeling guilty about it.


• Feeling comfortable saying 'no' - I'm so used to helping people it is really hard to say 'no'. Particularly as part of the reason why I do it is because I get a great pleasure out of knowing that I am making a difference to that person's life. However, realising when you have to help yourself is important too because a burnt out Dany is going to be of no use to anybody. For probably the first time ever I booked a client in a day later than I could have done. I recognised that she would be fine and that I needed a night off. I am sure we both had a better session because of it as I was fresh and re-energised.
  
• Feeling 'in tune' with yourself - I knew I had to do something because I definitely felt out of sync and I'm pleased to say that I'm now all tuned in again.


• Reduced feeling of guilt and stress - All of the steps above have enabled me to feel like I'm doing the best by Evan, my work and me again so those feelings of guilt have almost gone. Looking forward to tomorrow night and having a date with my husband and this is the start of redressing the balance within our relationship too. And when I need an extra boost I'll do my own Stress Buster and Progressive Relaxation mp3 (I tell everyone else to).

And the best thing of all......

I got a cleaner / ironing lady. It took me weeks to get my head round it but once I saw that it gave me a whole morning back to enjoy being with Evan I knew my decision was made.

Inga starts tomorrow and I am so excited I went out and bought her a new mop, bucket and cleaning cloths :-)

It really is the simple things in life that make us happy!!

Did the sun go to my head?

What a beautful day it was today!


My lovely hubby (Jim), gorgeous daughter (Evan) and I went off to buy a new car today. We're used to being a two car family. Nothing flashy, two reliable workhorses - both old girls. A Citreon ZX Aura and a 5 Series BMW Estate (I don't know much about cars but this had a nice big powerful engine so it could go very fast which made Jim happy. It also had a nice big boot which made me happy). Now I say had because sadly a few months ago our lovely beema developed a rather shocking noise. On further investigation it was discovered that it would cost £1k to have her fixed, a cost we decided was too much for a 15 year old car.


So Jim's research began. He wanted a fun, fast, powerful car, preferably a convertible. I wanted a big boot. He sent me many, many, many emails of I have to agree lovely cars but the cost was always too high, as was the mileage and the age of the car. And they didn't have a big boot.


And then we got to yesterday and he sent me an email of a lovely car. Good price, excellent mileage, age ok, fun, fast and a convertible. Now I don't know if over the months he has worn me down but I found myself agreeing to go and have a look at it. And so off we went.


So did I get my nice big boot I hear you ask?





Well.......





We bought a 2 seater MGF convertible (to replace a BMW Estate hahahhahahahaha - I'm rolling around the floor laughing as I write this) so NO!!!!!!





But it is a beautiful colour red :-) xx

Where to start...

So here I am - finally blogging. Where do you start with your first post? I probably shouldn't even be trying to put fingers to keyboard at this time of night (00:14 or should I say morning) particularly as I'm tired. But I've started now so I'll give it a go.

I've been spending a lot of time recently answering questions on the Baby Centre HypnoBirthing Group and loving being able to reach out and share my knowledge with the women who are planning on having calm, relaxed, comfortable births (yes I really did say calm, relaxed and comfortable in the same sentence as birth). It got me thinking that I could reach out even further if I started a blog (assuming I can get some people reading it of course).

So I plan to share stories, tips, advice, freebies here on my blog about using hypnotherapy for:

• Fertility (I currently have a 75% success rate helping women with fertility issues to become pregnant)
• Pregnancy (you don't have to put up with morning sickness you know)
• Birth (calm, relaxed, comfortable - yes, yes, I hear you say but how do I achieve that for myself?)
• And Beyond..... there are so many things you can achieve with the power of the mind

I truly have the best job ever.

• That amazing moment when a woman tells me she is pregnant after so many years of trying.
• Seeing the look of amazement on a woman's face when she has begun her session so green with morning sickness, that she cannot speak, then as she opens her eyes at the end feeling so completely wonderful
• Reading and hearing all the beautiful birth stories and seeing the lovely baby photos
• And Beyond.... so, so much more