Thursday, 26 November 2009

Sorry seat and the power of words

For those who have come across this entry via my "Hypnosis Techniques" section should note that this is not actually a hypnosis technique but it is tapping into how powerfully words affect our behaviour and therefore worthy of its place under this label.

A few weeks ago I had one of those "ding!" moments as I call them. I was scrolling through my tweets on Twitter and came across mention of the "Sorry Seat" from one of my Twitter pals, Natalie from Sophie4Sophie Well of course as a hypnotherapist, who is always teaching people how the words they use/hear (internally or externally) impacts on how they see themselves and in turn what they attract into their lives, it made so much sense. I can't believe I hadn't noticed it before.

When I used to put Evan on the naughty seat she would of course sit there (or not) for the whole time reflecting on the fact that she was naughty. Now reflecting is a big word for a 2.5 year old and to be frankly honest there was less reflecting and more demonstrating of just why she was sat on the naughty seat. However, the very first time I told Evan that she was going to have a Time Out on the Sorry Seat she did in fact sit there quietly for the whole time very obviously thinking about the need to be sorry. How do I know this (apart from the fact that she wasn't continuing to be naughty)? Because after a few moments she said "mummy I'd like to be sorry now". So I went over and she said and signed (this is one sign that hasn't yet been lost which I find very sweet) sorry! And told me why she was sorry.

And no this wasn't a fluke. Every time she has been placed on the Sorry Seat the same thing has happened. And I've taken this a step further. I'd always understood that you don't tell the child it is naughty. That the action was naughty or it was naughty behaviour. However, they are still focussing on being naughty and so now whenever she is doing something I don't want her to I say "Evan if you do not stop doing that you will have a Time Out on the Sorry Seat" and I begin to count from 1 to 3. I very rarely get past 1. This never used to happen I always got to 3 before and then had quite a battle getting her on the naughty seat and keeping her there.

The power of words never ceases to amaze me. Thanks Natalie for teaching me this fab little gem!

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1 comment:

  1. This rings true for us too and we are now very conscious of the words we use with FP. Thanks for that!
    There's an award for you at mine :o)