By the time Evan and I left her swimming lesson on Sunday around 6:15 pm, being November it was of course already dark and on this particular evening it was also very foggy. As we approached the car Evan said she was frightened of the tree worried that it could poke her in the eye. I of course reassured her and pointed out that we were too far from the tree for that to happen. Once settled in the car Evan said she was frightened that the tree would follow us and come into her bedroom and hurt her. Once again I sought to reassure her saying that the tree couldn't do this because it was rooted in the ground. We had a further chat about why the tree needed its roots, etc and then Evan fell quiet for a few moment. She then said "I wish I was a mummy and then I wouldn't be frightened any more". This of course made my heart twinge but at the same time I was glad that she believed I was strong.
Little does she know of course that being a mum is often one of the most frightening things and that fear can attack you at every corner if you let it. Particularly, if like me you grew up being fearful of everything and worrying all of the time. I believe that my early life was impacted by the fact that my dad died whilst my mum was 8 months pregnant with me, I strongly believe her strong negative emotions left a lasting imprint on me that has taken many, many years to resolve (well almost).
The first turning point for me was my hypnotherapy / counseling course at 30 when I started to look at the world through different eyes. My training in HypnoBirthing and HypnoFertility taught me more about fear and its impact on the body and from then on I've spent the last couple of years researching emotions which has led me to co-create the Feel good Look good programme.
I always practice what I preach and use the techniques that I teach all of the time in order to ensure that I am living in the now and enjoying life as much as I can.
I hope Evan's fears are just normal small child concerns as she is learning about the world. I teach her kiddy versions of the techniques that I teach to adults which help her to relax and use her imagination positively. She in turns uses them back at me when she sees me getting tense or anxious ;-).
That evening I told her about the Magic Faraway Tree that I used to love reading about when I was a little girl and that I would share great stories with her about the adventures that were had at the top of that tree. She smiled and snuggled down to sleep.
We had moved from fear to understanding to feeling good.
I wish I'd been taught these things earlier but our experiences make us wiser and I know that I have a positive impact on many peoples lives and that makes me feel good.
If you are sitting reading this feeling that you could also benefit from learning more about how to focus on the positive and enjoy life more, you may find that the Feel good Look good programme is for you.