Looking at the birth process from a physical perspective

Last night I felt very privileged to attend a talk by Michel Odent. For those who don't know him he is a French Obstetrician and leading pioneer for natural childbirth. He is now 81 years old and is an inspiration in himself but the way he talks about birth is captivating. As I listened though I actually became more and more baffled at why the majority of medical professionals do not appear to share the same views as him. His work is proof alone but it is also all just such common sense. Of course we share this same common sense view of birth during hypnobirthing classes, so none of what he was saying was particularly new information for me, but I loved the way he explained certain things and I felt I wanted to share this with my readers.

Odent states that as birthing is an involuntary process we cannot help it but we can inhibit it and knowing this we need to protect it from that happening. We can learn about this by, as the title of this posts says, looking at the birth process from a physical perspective.

As humans we are different from other mammals in that we have a developed neo cortex. This is important for birthing as it has nothing to do with the neo cortex but comes from our archaic, primitive brain. Our inhibitions though do come from the neo cortex and therefore it must be switched off during the birthing process to allow a woman's natural birthing instincts to come to the fore. Let's look at this in more detail

1. Language stimulates the neo cortex - Silence (or more specifically lack of communication) is a basic need of labour. Language in particular when expressing a question needs activity in the neo cortex to prepare an answer. To further highlight this he asks us to imagine a couple making love, they are in an orgasmic state and the women ask the man "what do you want for dinner". No further explanation needed ;-).
2. Light can stimulate the neo cortex - the darkness hormone melatonin reduces neo cortex activity.
3. When we feel observed we observe ourselves and the neo cortex is stimulated
4. When we perceive a possible danger the neo cortex is stimulated
5. Emotional states are contagious - if a labouring woman is being supported by someone with high adrenaline levels this may cause her to mirror their hormone activity.

Amongst other things during hypnobirthing classes we teach:

1. The dad/birth partner to be the labouring woman's advocate and deal with any discussions that need to take place.
2. To look at ways to dim the lights (particularly in a hospital room) but if this is not possible by using the hypnosis techniques the mum is able to become much more internally focussed and therefore less aware of outside stimuli.
3. The dad to protect mum from unnecessary interruption and be a gentle loving support.
4. Couples to decide where the best place is for them to birth and also to understand that they are always the ones in control of their birth experience (even if they hand their birthing over to a doctor because of true medical circumstances if they have asked questions, got answers and made the decision for themselves they will maintain that control). Feeling safe and in control is key to the body functioning normally during birth.
5. Dads/birth companions are also taught relaxation techniques alongside the mums as we know their adrenaline is catching. They leave the classes feeling fully confident in their role and with the skills to remain calm, relaxed and in control throughout the birth of their baby whilst being of wonderful support to their partner.

Makes sense doesn't it?

Odent smiled at the end of his talk and I had to smile with him when he said "we need modern science to rediscover and explain what is simple and common sense".

Cloak of Protection

In my previous post I wrote about a useful technique to help protect you from others negativity called the Cloak of Protection.

For pregnant women their beautiful bump can be like a shining beacon for all and sundry, friends, family, colleagues and even strangers to share their horrors and fears of birthing. I tell my clients to politely ask others to not share all this negativity and if they don't to place their fingers in their ears and sing lah lah lah until the offending person stops.

For those who feel my first two suggestions are not suitable there is as I've already mentioned the Cloak of Protection. I've been getting so many fantastic examples of how women are using this technique both from those using my Hypno 4 Birth Home Study Programme and my face-to-face clients that I thought I would offer it as Christmas Gift for readers of my blog (this gift is now out of date but if you would like to purchase this mp3 you can do so on my site)

If you are reading this and you are not pregnant you can still use the mp3 to learn the technique but just set the intention beforehand to ignore the references to pregnancy and birth.

Merry Christmas

Is it possible to have a comfortable birth following induction?

During my HypnoBirthing courses and Hypno 4 Birth sessions I discuss with my clients the benefits of questioning the necessity of being induced should the subject arise. This is important whether induction comes up due to concerns about mums or babies health or just because mum has reached a certain point in her pregnancy that is considered overdue.

The reason it is important to ask questions is so that should you then decide that yes it is the right choice for you and your baby to be induced, that you and your partner have been the ones who have made that decision, you haven't felt like you've just been told that it has to be a certain way.

In turn this is important because by being the ones to make the decisions you maintain control over your baby's birth. When you are in control of a situation you remain much more positive emotionally and this can make all the difference when preparing for labour following induction.

A useful booklet to help with your discussions can be found on the AIMS website 'Induction - Do I really need it?'

So having made the decision that it is right for you to be induced, you will now want to make sure that you give yourself the best possible chance to remain comfortable and continue to maintain that sense of control. There are therefore a number of things that you will want to discuss with your medical provider before induction commences:

1. Find out what the procedure will be?
2. Find out how you will be monitored and explain that you will want to be as mobile as possible.
3. Ask if your partner is able to stay with you? If no questions why not?
4. If it is not possible then ensure that your partner is on the other end of the phone and call him when you need him. Explain to your medical provider that this is what you will do.
5. Explain that as soon as your body has taken over that you want artificial support to be stopped.
6. Ask for understanding and patience with regards to your hypnosis preparation and that you do not want suggestions for pain relief. That you will ask for it should you want it.

The main issue with induction is that the body is jumped to the more intense surges and therefore you do not have the same time in which to prepare physically and emotionally. The endorphins do not then get the same opportunity to build as in a natural progression of labour. You will therefore need to do this BEFORE induction commences.

This is where all of your hypnosis practice will come to the fore. Make sure that you have entered a deep state of relaxation before anything gets started. Focus on your breathing, 54321 relax will help with that to start with. Then use your farourite hypnosis CD/mp3 for entering and maintaining your state of trance. The Tums 2 Mums Glove Relaxation mp3 is particularly useful for this purpose as it is deliberately written to take you into a deep state of trance and to over-stimulate your endorphins. Remember when your endorphins are fully present from the onset of labour and are maintained throughout they will help prevent pain signals from being transmitted to the brain.

The role of advocate and protector of the birth is particularly important when a mum has been induced as often one form of intervention can lead to another. Asking questions should that occur will again ensure that you maintain control over your birthing experience.

I have had hypnomummies choose to be induced and go on to have great births. Taking control by being the ones to decide that induction is right for them and preparation are the key to their success.

Free Birth Affirmations mp3

What you spend time thinking about dictates the choices you make and therefore the actions you take which in turn leads to consequences. Whatever point you are in your life right now is a result of choices you have made in the past. Whatever you get in the future will be the result of choices you make now. Your choices are determined by what you think about therefore you are in control of what happens to you in your life by what you tell yourself your thoughts.

Taking responsibility for what you believe, your thoughts and therefore your actions is a big step forward in achieving the birth that you want (and I would go so far to say the life you want). But there has to be a desire to change. We naturally learn to filter out anything that doesn’t fit with a particular belief so what we expect is what we end up getting. If you are convinced that birth will be difficult and you believe that there is nothing you can do to change that then you may not have the motivation to look for different ways to approach your birth preparations, engaging in horror stories and negative images of birth and dwelling on negative thoughts. My guess however would be that you are at least at a point where you believe that birth does not necessarily have to be that way otherwise you wouldn’t be here reading my blog.

Affirmations provide a structured way to practise new thoughts, and a lovely starting point for helping you transform any negative beliefs about labour and birth, which is why I've decided to give this mp3 away for free.

Daily practice is necessary to become competent but in time positive thoughts about birthing will become your new habits of thinking in turn supporting your chances of achieving the birth you seek.

Taken from the Tums 2 Mums Hypno 4 Birth Programme. If you like to find out more about this programme please click here.

Is it fear or excitement?

Well maybe it is fear or maybe it is excitement and sometimes it is both.

What on earth are you talking about I hear you cry, but it really is an interesting question because unless we are in real danger (when of course it is absolutely right to feel fear so that we can get ourselves out of trouble) we can change the answer to suit what we want.

Think for a moment how you experience fear in your body.

Ok, now take some time to become aware of how you experience excitement in your body.

They are incredibly similar aren't they and once you realise this you can use it change your perception of something.

Words are very powerful if you say that you are scared about something then you will create images (consciously and/or subconsciously) that represent fear. Because your subconscious runs the body based on the emotions these images evoke it will actually make physiological changes in the body to get you ready for danger. This is only useful if you really are in trouble other than that it causes unnecessary stress on your mind, body and emotional well being.

However, if you say you are excited about something then you will create images that match that and trigger a whole different response within the mind and body.

Your subconscious doesn't know the difference between real or imagined events so the more we focus on the negative the more likely we are to take action that matches that negativity. If we are focussing on the positive it is a natural response to find ourselves responding more positively to what is going on in our lives.

Let's look at this from a birthing perspective. A woman who says she is frightened of her baby's upcoming birth will create images of horror stories she's heard, read about or seen. In turn this will prepare her body for a potentially difficult birth. A woman who perceives the physical sensations within her body as excitement will create images that match that excitement and in turn support her body in working as it should during labour and birth. It doesn't actually matter if at first she doesn't quite believe it because the more she focuses on excitement the law of repetition will ensure that in turn it becomes easier to believe. This is because the more we practice something the easier it becomes and in turn becomes a new way of thinking. Of course if we are thinking differently we create the images that support an easier, comfortable birth.

Change this way is easy the only hard thing is to actually do it. For a pregnant woman you can tap into the desire to have a better birth for you and your baby.

But this of course works for all areas of your life so be more aware from now on whether something is a real or a perceived fear. If it is only perceived tell yourself you are excited instead and notice how different that makes you feel.

Remember it may take practice, but if you tap into the desire that will ensure you want to make a change, the more you focus on excitement the more you will believe it to be true and in turn you will be surprised at the differences that this will make in your every day life.

Christmas Gift

I am sitting here feeling very smug and happy with myself, there are 10 days to go till Christmas and I have FINISHED all of my Christmas shopping. In fact I had actually completed buying all of my presents last Friday, although this may be due to the fact that I did most of it online so there was not too much dragging a toddler around Bluewater this year. I did however make one trip and for anyone shopping there last Friday I was the poor mum walking around with the giant dalmatian balloon floating just above my head!! Still it kept Evan happy and we just about made it through the day.

I then realised that there was one very important gift that I hadn't done yet and I am now sitting here at 5 in the morning sorting that too.

If you are pregnant I hope you enjoy my Cloak of Protection mp3 and benefit from the powerful yet simple technique it teaches you. If you are not pregnant please share this link with anyone that you know who is. You really will be giving them a fantastic present by letting them know about it.

Taken from the Tums 2 Mums

Hypno 4 Birth Home Study Programme

“Unfortunately for most women as they become pregnant their bump seems to become a glowing bright beacon for all and sundry to approach and share all their most awful and intimate stories about pregnancy, labour, birth and being a parent. The media, films, soaps and birth channels all know that calm, relaxed births are not ‘sensational’ TV and so rarely show good ones. Although ironically to watch a woman labouring calmly is the most sensational thing you could want to see.

I urge you not to get involved in negative conversations about birth, stop people in their tracks when they want to share a horror story and don’t be tempted by the birthing channels (there are plenty of wonderful hypno births to watch on You Tube).

However, as determined as you might be that you will not accommodate any of the above, sometimes you can hear or see something so quickly that you don’t have time to stop it and this is why I have included the ‘Cloak of Protection’ mp3 in this programme.

You will learn whilst listening to this mp3 how to place an invisible cloak of protection around yourself which will shield you from any negativity, causing it to bounce off of you and preventing the messages from becoming absorbed by your subconscious mind."

Please note that the link for this Christmas offer will be removed on the 6th January 2011.

I'd love to know how you enjoy it so please take the time to leave a comment on my blog.

Merry Christmas everyone xxx

Fab email from one of my Hypno 4 Birth Home Study Mums

This email made my day - I think it speaks for itself.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hi Dany,

I just wanted to say Thank you for the wonderful Home Study programme for Hypno-birthing and to tell you about my wonderful birth experience when my son was born on 21st May 2010 at 545am weighing 8lb 4oz.

When I found out I was pregnant, I was scared of how I would cope as I am terrified of hospitals and needles.

I decided to try the Hypno-birthing to change my fear beliefs.

As you predicted, lots of people wanted to tell me their horror stories of difficult labours, and I just smiled at them, convinced (brain-washed) that Hypno-birthing would make my experience different.

My hospital told me that I was not to go there until my contractions were 3-4minutes apart, so I knew I had to spend alot of the labour at home.

When my surges started, I listened to the Surges with the Sea and Fear Release and Natural Calm MP3s and practised the slow breathing.

After a few hours, the mucus plus came out, and I could feel my baby's head was so low down, that even though my contractions were still 5-6minutes apart, I had to get to the hospital. Although I wasn't in pain, just discomfort, and the contractions were not that strong.

When we arrived at the hospital, the midwife told me I was 7cm dilated! I was so relieved and excited. I was offered an epidural but I knew I would be able to get through without it, so I just had Gas and Air and my son was born 3.5 hours later.

During the last part of my labour, the midwife kept telling my husband how relaxed and calm I was (I was deep in slow-breathing meditation!), and the whole experience was just as I imagined it.

I'm so excited, that I just can't wait to start trying for baby number 2!

Thank you again Dany, your MP3s and affirmations were relaxing and soothing and I'm recommending them to my pregnant friends.

Regards,

Mel x

Feeling sad, frustrated and a little bit angry!

Considering my last post was driven by similar emotions it would appear, that despite not having much time to blog at the moment, when my feelings get adequately fired the words in my head shout loud enough to force my fingers to the keyboard.

So what has got me so fired up?

The comments made in response to the Mail Online article about a women who reported her labour on Twitter. I've given a taster below with some of my thoughts attached to them (in case you are unsure mine are the ones in italics ;-)):

"What a sad woman . Also it brings out all the mothers on here having to tell there storys, why ?? I bet you lot bore people to tears with your storys I am a Mum myself but don't feel the need of broadcasting my labour storys over the net."

I think any pregnant woman will tell you that sharing birth stories are not limited to those talking about their comfortable birth. It seems to me that a bump is like a homing beacon for all and sundry men and women alike to frighten the poor women with the worse stories possible.

"You are no better if you have drugs or no drugs.... Each to their own depends on the delivery...."

I agree with this and some of my 'mums' find that due to unforeseen circumstances they want drugs and some require assisted deliveries. The amazing difference between theirs and many of their friends stories is they still report their story in a positive light.

"Birth is a painful experience, VERY painful. I thought everyone knew that. So what myths did she dispel exactly?"

But it doesn't have to be and even when a woman does feel discomfort she can remain in control of that and therefore have a positive birth experience.

"I found this article extremely sad,and read it as a woman who needed to be "known". For goodness sake,how long will it be now before someone posts their labour on U-tube. "

Sorry to disappoint you but there already are - lots of great hypnobirths on You Tube which give confidence to many, many, many pregnant women every day.

"Fair play to her for having an easy labour - so did I...twice. despite the hospital's insistence that I deliver there due to mild hypertension, I had no complications whatsoever and minimal pain relief. i didn't assume the world would want to hear about it though.....and its not really fair to say this will dispel the myths of childbirth as everyone is different and shouldn't feel like a failure of their birth experience is not the same as this one and if they couldn't be bothered to tweet about it either!"

A great point is being missed here. She most certainly dispelled the myth that all births are awful which sooooooooooo many women love to share and sadly sooooooooo many women buy in to. It CANNOT be coincidence that the women who attend my HypnoBirthing(R) courses and those who have private Hypno 4 Birth sessions with me or work through my Hypno 4 Birth Home Study programme report back positive stories of birth.

"How could this woman ever dispel any myths just because something didn't happen at her own delivery? Scientists would have to use thousands of women and their experience over years of trials if they were to ever dispel a myth."

Continuing on from my point above i

t also CANNOT be coincidence that on the HypnoBirth Board for which I am co-admin on Baby Centre again the members report back positive story after positive story. No they are not all they same. No they do not all report back pain free births. No their births don't all follow the plan that was hoped for. But they are ALL positive stories of birth.

"My own labour took 67 hours from one end to the other as my son was lying in the posterior position which lengthens labour and makes it very much more painful. Thank the lord for painkilllers, although I still felt a lot of the pain, and ended up with a caesarian section anyway.

I've had clients have 4 day labours (I wouldn't wish it on anyone) however one of them was my best friend and when I saw her 1 hour after her daughter was born she looked as fresh as anyone might look after a normal day at work. She also told me off for not sharing with more women how AMAZING HypnoBirthing(R) is. With regards to the comment about a posterior labour being more difficult I think you only have to read this story on my site to see that this is not necessarily true (NEVER buy into absolutes about birth).

I think I will stop there as the more I read these negative comments the more frustrated I get.

I have taken a moment again to read the original article to check if this poor woman who dared to tweet her labour was doing so with a smug, look at me, I am so amazing tone and all I see is a woman who is desperately trying to share that birth doesn't have to be the scary, awful thing that far too many women fear.

I know the feeling of not being able to share a wonderful birth story. I had an amazing birth with Evan and when I tried to share it at my baby massage class (where we were all sharing our stories) I got that same feeling that the others in the room felt I was showing off. One of the reasons I set up my monthly Mums and Mums-to-be group was so that women could share their positive stories of birth in an environment in which they could enjoy doing so. Again I was getting fed up of my 'mums' telling me that they were also getting negative responses when they were trying to share their stories. WHY? when they were expected to endure everybody else's horror stories when they were pregnant with a smile on their face.

My previous post explains what I believe a perfect birth is and it clear that I do not see any women who wants to use drugs or requires intervention as a failure. I just find it incredibly sad that most women get more and more frightened as their labour approaches rather than feeling excited about the upcoming birth of their baby. And I find it increasingly frustrating that if only others were more open to listening to these wonderful stories that more women could consistently have better births.

It really CANNOT be a coincidence that women who use hypnosis statistically have better births without intervention and I CANNOT repeat that enough!!

Keep sharing your wonderful hypnobirthing stories. Whilst the numbers are still small there are more and more women willing to listen and in turn having great births. And with each great story there is another one waiting to happen.

The Perfect Birth

What's that then?

There have been quite a few posts and comments recently on the Baby Centre HypnoBirth Board about having or not having a perfect birth. Many of them start out with a post that friends and family believe that because they are planning a HypnoBirth they are setting themselves up for disappointment and they are being unrealistic about their expectations.

Then yesterday I had a client say to me that although she is wanting a natural birth, because she is considered high risk she doesn't want to only focus on having a perfect birth in case it just isn't possible. So we explored together what a perfect birth is because preparing for a HypnoBirth isn't about having a short, calm, comfortable natural labour and birth free of intervention (although of course many achieve this) it is about empowerment. Couples taking control of their birth experience, having the confidence to ask appropriate questions and making decisions based on the answer that are right for them, not anyone else. Not what I would do (or any other practitioner they have attended classes with), nor their doctor, midwives, friend, sister and so on. What is right for them.

• The perfect birth is the birth that is right for mum and baby on the day.
• The perfect birth is one in which the couple look back upon and know that all decisions were theirs.
• The perfect birth is one in which mum and dad felt they were always in control of even if that meant making the decision to hand over to the experts because there were special circumstances.

I don't get 100% feedback that births played out in the way that was desired but I do get 100% feedback that the techniques are useful no matter what and that is the true value of HypnoBirthing.

How can that be setting a woman up for disappointment?

Using Real Nappies

The title of this blog entry is a little misleading because you might have thought that I was about to tell you all about using them. Sadly it isn't because as much as I thought about it before I had Evan I just never built up enough confidence to give them a go. Sadly I met the lovely Johanna who is going to be heading up the Bexley Real Nappy Network when I was already months into using disposables and with my pressures of running Tums 2 Mums and having a tiny baby I couldn't get my head round making the switch.

My biggest concern was would I be able to keep on top of the washing of them and more importantly the drying of them but chatting with Johanna I found that nappies have come a very, very long way and that some of the brands in particular dry incredibly quickly. My other concern was would I be able to deal with having to wash poopy nappies but another chat with Johanna made me realise that most of it just gets dropped down the toilet. To be honest Evan was so long and skinny that she was always squirting out of her nappies and virtually every day I was having to scrub poop out of her clothes so I didn't escape.

So there you are that is my confession, I wish I had made the switch but I didn't so instead I'm hoping to help at least mums and mums-to-be in reach of Bexley to find out more by attending the event detailed below. If you are not near Bexley though check out your local area because there will be someone, somewhere willing and able to help you find out more.

______________________________________________

Bexley Real Nappy Network (BRNN)

During Real Nappy Week (26th April – 2nd May) The London Borough of Bexley will be launching Bexley Real Nappy Network.

We would like to invite you to attend the launch of Bexley Real Nappy Network.

Bexley Real Nappy Network (BRRN) will launch on:

Wednesday 28th April 10.30am – 1.30pm at Danson Children’s Centre, Brampton Road.

There will be fun nappy events, stalls and tea and cakes.

The aim of the Bexley Real Nappy Network (BRNN) is to promote real nappies and provide support for parents using cloth nappies. We hope this network will give parents a chance to gain practical tips on how to use cloth nappies and share their experience of using different types of cloth nappies. BRNN will also offer a nappy library and second hand nappy exchange. As a member of BRNN you will receive a quarterly newsletter with nappy information and advice.

The BRRN launch will provide you with an opportunity to sign up to the network – there is no cost.

During real nappy week we will also be promoting Real Nappies for London’s voucher scheme by running stalls in the Broadway.

The Mall, in the Broadway Shopping Centre, Bexleyheath:

Monday 26 April 10.30am – 1.30pm

Tuesday 27 April 10.30am – 1.30pm

If you would like more information please contact:

Helen Barclay / Maria Migdal 020 8303 7777 option 1.

Bexley Real Nappy Network: bexleyrealnappynwk@tiscali.co.uk

______________________________________________

I will be there with a little Tums 2 Mums stall so if you do attend please come and say hello :-)

Suspension of home birth and specialist midwifery services in E Sussex

This is a message that was sent to me by Louise Wilby, Independent Midwives UK that I believe is worth sharing for any of my readers based in this area considering a Home Birth.

_______________________________________________________

Dear All

Excuse the length of this message but the AIMS info is very helpful in telling us what we can do and how to do it.... please pass it on to all those interested in protecting normal birth ( I also have it as a word document if that is useful)

Very best wishes

Louise

ASSOCIATION FOR IMPROVEMENTS IN THE MATERNITY SERVICES

http://www.facebook.com/l/35dad;www.aims.org.uk

Email: Chair@aims.org.uk

Home birth – withdrawal of services

The Association for Improvements in the Maternity Services has been informed that the East Sussex Health Trust has unilaterally decided to revoke the home birth and specialist midwifery service.

This, apparently, is due to ‘staffing levels’ and the Trust has also revoked the ‘specialist midwife roles’ who are required to be ‘put back into the mainstream units’.

In 2000 the Nursing and Midwifery Council issued a statement about home births in which it

States:

‘It is for the individual trust/health board to decide what type of maternity service it will provide. The service is expected to be one which is responsible to local requirements and, as far as home births are concerned, it is understood that a blanket policy of ‘no home births’ would not be acceptable to the maternity services in England, Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales.’

It further states:

‘While the employed midwife has a contractual duty to her employer, she also has a professional duty to provide midwifery care for women and would not wish to leave a woman in labour at home unattended, thus placing her at risk at a time when competent midwifery care is essential.’

Many Trusts have had staffing problems for a long time and have done little or nothing to resolve it. The Chief Executive, therefore, should be asked to produce the following information:

• How many Full-time (FTE) equivalent midwives are required?
• How many FTE’s are in post?
• How many FTE vacancies are there?

The figures are required for each year from 2005 to 2010.

It is presumed that the Trust’s action has been caused by a midwifery shortage in the hospital. The solution, therefore, is to take steps to recruit more hospital midwives. It is unacceptable to put low risk women who have booked a home birth at additional risk of delivery in large, centralised, obstetric units.

The WHO has stated that there is no health improvement for either mother or baby when the caesarean section rates exceed 10%-15%. In the East Sussex area the caesarean section rates fluctuate from 21.8% to 27.7% more than double the recommended level. Numerous studies have shown that home birth is as safe as hospital birth for selected women. AIMS would argue that home birth is far safer than hospital deliveries as no studies have taken into account depression, infection, breastfeeding or post traumatic stress or the high levels of medical interventions and unnecessary or avoidable caesarean sections. (Young et al 2000; Chamberlain et al, 1997; Northern Region Perinatal Mortality Group, 1996); Weigers et al,1996; Ackermann-Liebrich et al, 1996).

It is unacceptable when faced with staffing problems in an obstetric unit to disband the home birth service, and deprive needy women of the specialist midwifery care that was established to help them. The problems with staffing need to be addressed seriously, and this will only be achieved when a community midwifery service is established by a Primary Care Trust, so that community midwives can focus of supporting normal birth and not be seen as stop-gap measure to be used when the Acute Units have staffing problems.

Any woman who is told that the home birth service has been suspended should write immediately to the Chief Executive, Darren Grayson, at East Sussex Health Trust, 729 The Ridge, St Leonards-on-Sea, TN37 7PT along the following lines:

_______________________________________________________

Dear

I have been informed that you have a shortage of midwives and that the home birth service has been withdrawn, so that I shall, therefore, have to come into hospital. I understand that it is Government policy that the NHS should support women who intend to birth at home. In a House of Commons debate (20 Dec, 2000) Lord Hunt of King's Heath stated: 'The Government want (sic) to ensure that, where it is clinically appropriate, if a woman wishes to have a home birth she should receive the appropriate support from the health service. At the end of the day, it must be the woman's choice'. This statement has received further support in the Government’s current document ‘Maternity Matters’.

Your midwives have been aware of my intention to give birth at home since ...(insert date). I have no intention of taking the additional risk of a hospital birth in order to alleviate your staff shortages, although I am prepared to transfer to hospital should a medical complication arise. I suggest that, if your hospital is short of midwives, you contact the Independent Midwives UK and arrange an extra-contractual referral.

I expect a midwife to attend when I call her in labour. Should a midwife not arrive and any untoward event occur that is related to your failure to respond to my needs and those of my baby, my family will take appropriate action and we shall hold you and the Director of Midwifery personally responsible for this failure and contact the Nursing and Midwifery Council.

It is important that as many people as possible are alerted to this so we suggest that you also write to the following and ask them to take action to ensure that a proper community midwifery service is provided for all women:

Your MP, you can find his address on: http://www.facebook.com/l/35dad;www.writetothem.com

• The Chair, Maternity Services Liaison Committee, c/o your local obstetric unit (every maternity unit should have a MSLC and you can check if your unit has one by ringing the Chief Executive and ask for the name of the Chair of the MSLC).

• Rt Hon Andy Burnham MP, Secretary of State for Health , Department of Health, Richmond House, 79 Whitehall, London, SW1A 2NS

• Christina Mackenzie, Nursing and Midwifery Council, 23 Portland Place, London, W1M 3AF

• Cathy Warwick, General Secretary, Royal College of Midwives, 15 Mansfield Street, London, W1G 9NH

• Your local County Councillor can be found on http://www.facebook.com/l/35dad;www.eastsussex.gov.uk

If, when you ring for a midwife when you are in labour, you are still told that a midwife cannot attend because they are short staffed, we suggest that you, or your partner, responds as follows:

'What is your name and your status? (Make a note of who it is). 'I have no intention of putting myself or my baby at risk of travelling in labour to the hospital and exposing us to the additional risks of a hospital delivery. If you fail to send a midwife and any untoward event occurs which can be attributed to your failure to provide a midwife you can rest assured that my family will take appropriate action'.

So far, in every case to date that we know of, the Trust has provided a midwife.

It is important that you alert as many people as possible to this problem. Do let AIMS know whether or not you achieved your home birth in the end. Email Chair@aims.org.uk

Valentines Competition

AND THE WINNERS ARE:

Elie (please email so I can send you your prize)

Joanne Ball

Chloe Chatnoi

@law4mumpreneurs

Marie

NOTE: As a special thank you for those of you who have entered this competition but not been lucky enough to win, I would like to offer you the opportunity of purchasing the programme for the amazing price of £26. If you are interested in this offer please email me at dany@tums2mums.com

Okay so I know that Valentines day is all about love and affection between intimate companions but for many that love culminates in having children so I thought it would be a lovely time to launch this competition. It also happens to coincide with the completion of a very exciting project and so the timing is perfect.

That project was the turning of my Hypnosis for Childbirth mp3s into a complete Hypno 4 Birth Home Study Programme. I have been busy putting together a workbook/manual that helps women understand more about the benefits of using these mp3s during childbirth and I've also done some re-writing/recording and added 2 additional mp3s.

As you work your way through the manual you will learn:

• How the muscles of the uterus are designed to work during labour and how fear and anxiety affect them working efficiently.
• How to change negative thinking habits and beliefs to positive ones that support your desire to have a calm, comfortable birth experience.
• How to tap into your own natural birthing instincts.
• What hypnosis is and what it isn't.
• The impact the mind and your imagination has upon your body and what you experience.
• A variety of techniques to use during your pregnancy to prepare your mind and body for a positive birth experience.
• How your birth companion can support you.
• How to use the techniques during labour and birth

The manual is supported by 8 mp3s and a relaxation plan to help you structure your practise. You will also be sent an invitation to my private Hyp 'n Happening Google Group where you can post any questions you may have and meet other mums and mums-to-be using hypnosis for their birth preparations.

The mp3s that you will receive are as follows:

• 5,4,3,2,1, relax which is already available as a free download so that you can find out if you enjoy listening to my voice.
• Cloak of Protection to protect you from outside negative influences (a new mp3 currently not available)
• Birth Affirmations which provide a structured way to practise new thoughts
• Natural Calm Progressive Relaxation.
• Glove Relaxation to learn how you can utilise the power of your mind and your imagination to change your experience of sensations within your body (re-written and newly recorded)
• Cushion of Comfort to stimulate your endorphins your body's natural pain relief.
• Surge with Sea Birth Rehearsal Imagery (a new mp3 currently not available).
• Fear and Emotional Release to help let go of any negative thinking and beliefs, to clear the way for your new positive thoughts that will lead to the acceptance that birth can indeed be a calm, comfortable experience that YOU are in control of.

All mp3s are accompanied by beautiful piano music written and recorded especially for me by Paul Herbert.

And the good news is that I have FIVE of these new Hypno Birth Home Study sets to GIVE AWAY. All you have to do is to write about this competition with a link to this page of my blog to let others know it is available. It might be that you are a member of a forum like NetMums, Baby Centre or Mums Like You, a keen Tweeter on Twitter or have your own blog.

Once you've done that comment on this post with the link to wherever you've written about the competition (or email me at dany@tums2mums.com with your link) so that I can add your name into the draw. The more links you place the more entries you will have into the draw (this can include different birth boards on the same forum).

And even if you are not pregnant why not do this for a friend. The opportunity to have a more positive birth experience is the best gift you could give them.

The competition will run for a month starting today (Valentines Day) and closing at midnight on 14th March (my Birthday - how appropriate) . The draw will be made on 15th March and winners names will be placed on the top of this blog entry (if your due date falls within this period and you would still like to benefit from this programme email me separately).

Please help me spread the word that birthing really can be a normal, natural, comfortable event for most women.

It's Competition Time!!!

I have put together this competition as I am hoping to help a very good friend of mine. Caz Arnold aka @dougggie who happens to be a HypnoBirthing practitioner (although this isn’t relevant here) sadly lost her father very suddenly on Christmas day. The reason I am posting this is that Caz is currently in the middle of raising money for the Dogs Trust Arctic Dogs Sledding Challenge but as I am sure you can imagine this has knocked her sideways and she is currently unable to put much energy in to it.

The prize - 3 lucky entrants will win my complete 5 x Hypnosis for Childbirth mp3s worth £26. If you'd like to find out more about these mp3s click here

To enter - All I ask is that you click on Caz’s fund raising link at the bottom of this page and put a minimum (more if you want) donation of £2. All names will then be entered into a draw. In order for me to be able to contact you if you win please ensure that you put the following information in the comments box when making your donation:

Tums2Mums competition and either your Baby Centre or Twitter ID. If you do not have either of these please leave your name and then tick the box that enables Caz to see your email address and she will then forward your email address to me. Your email address WILL NOT be passed on to anyone other than myself.

The competition will close at midnight on 9th January and the winners will be announced on this blog on the 10th January. Notices will also be placed on the HypnoBirth board of Baby Centre UK and Twitter.

To enter and make your donation please click here http://www.justgiving.com/cazarnold/

Thank you for helping me help my lovely friend help a worthy cause.

Birth Companion's Role

The most important thing for the birth companion to understand is their role on the day and mums you will want to let them know what your expectations are. These are broken down into a number of categories.

Simple Nurturing

• Getting water and snacks
• Helping mum to change position
• Getting a track ready on your ipod (click here for information on my Hypno 4 Birth Home Study programme and individual mp3s)
• Reminding mum to go to the loo
• Etcetera

Supporting your relaxation

With touch

• On the HypnoBirthing course we teach a specific technique for anchoring (linking the dads placement of his hand on the mums shoulder to the mum being in a deeply relaxed state). The aim being that during labour he could simply place his hand on her shoulder and she will move more deeply into a state of relaxation. However, I believe that with most couples that these anchors are already there. As long as your partner is in a relaxed state I'm sure if he placed his hand on your shoulder during labour you would find it reassuring and therefore relaxing.

• Light touch massage (gently stroking the back and arms with the fingernails)

• Massage (I teach dads how to use massage during labour but if you can't get to a class you may be interested in buying this great little book and massage oil written by Vital Touch)

With words

In the same way that you would find your partners touch reassuring as long as he is calm, similarly if he speaks to you in a calm, relaxed, quiet way during labour, using soothing prompts at appropriate times, this will also help you to feel calm and relaxed. These can be as simple as "you are doing great", "I love you", I'm so proud of you", "our baby is coming, its so exciting".

With your relaxation techniques

• Facial relaxation - if there is any tensions in the face dad can remind mum to place the tip of her tongue behind her front upper teeth to enable the lower jaw to recede and relax. In turn this will send relaxation down through the body.

• As mum finishes a surge to say "now give me a nice relaxing breath in" - dad to breathe in which will cause mum to follow - and then to breathe out with some sound which will again cause mum to follow. As he is doing that to say "reeee" on the in breath and "laaaaaaaax" on the out breath (I promise this is easier to do than explain in writing). This encourages mum to take a calm, relaxing breath at the end of a surge and ensures she moves more deeply into a state of relaxation.

• Should something bring mum out of her state of relaxation/trance a very quick and easy way for her to go back in (if it has been practised) is for dad to say "close your eyes, give me a nice relaxing breath in and as you breathe out 5,4,3,2,1 relax). This is incredibly simple but well worth using as much as you can prior to labour as you will reap the rewards when you are having your baby. Click here for a free mp3 to practise this.

As advocate and protector of the birth experience

Obviously with any Hypnosis for Childbirth programme what you are learning is based on your labour and birth not having any special circumstances (complications). However, sometimes there maybe talk of intervention that is not absolutely necessary and is based on AVOIDING a problem occurring as opposed to there being one at the time (many doctors like to err on the side of caution).

Should this happen it is worth your birth companion asking some simple questions. I should add as a pre-cursor to this that this will be helped if you have done the following:

• Written a short and simple birth plan which has laid out your expectations of birth (you can read mine here).

• On arrival your birth companion has met with your midwife and taken them through your birth plan and expectations of birth (take extra copies in case there is a shift change and he has to do this again). Mentioning that should there be any talk of intervention he would like to have the opportunity to ask some appropriate questions. Reassuring them that at no time will your birth plan be more important than the health of mum and baby.

The questions that he will want to ask are:

• What is the medical indication for suggestion this?

• What would happen if we didn't do it?

• Would you be prepared to wait for 5, 10, 15 minutes in order for us to do some relaxation work together?

• Is my partner or baby in IMMEDIATE danger?

Once your partner has asked these questions he is then able to come and discuss options with you. The thing to remember if they albeit reluctantly give you more time to have confidence in this. When there is a TRUE EMERGENCY they will not give you time.

As I've mentioned throughout it is important for your birth companion to also be in a calm, relaxed state. Adrenalin is catching and therefore any fear or stress within your partner can be passed on to you. Practising the hypnosis techniques together supports this but if you've got a partner who is not able to practise with you (for whatever reason) remember if you put on your relaxation mp3s when they are also relaxing (eg on going to bed) their subconscious will be hearing the positive suggestions too.

Along with going through what I've mentioned in this blog entry I would strongly recommend that the birth companion does a fear release session as this will help them ensure that they are feeling fully confident about their role in supporting you when you are having your baby.

If you have any questions following reading this blog entry please add a comment and I will answer them for you.

Breastfeed in your sleep

A fun slideshow about co-sleeping and breastfeeding.

Please enjoy this lovely relaxation mp3 on me

I am very happy to say that I have finally found the time to record the following mp3. Something I've been wanting to do for a long time in order to offer my readers the chance to experience one of my mp3s for free and also to enjoy the relaxation that brings.

On the face of it this mp3 is a very simple progressive relaxation but it is done in a very clever way (even if I do say so myself ;-)). It also has a useful twist in that you are learning a very quick and easy way to send relaxation through your body any time you choose (eyes open or eyes closed. Resting at home or in a queue at the Supermarket).

So why is it different? Firstly, the way it relaxes your body. Rather than just saying relax your shoulders, arms, chest, etc. which to be honest is very difficult to do. Think about it now if I say to you "relax your shoulders", you may adjust your shoulders physically or you might imagine your muscles being more relaxed if you have any experience with relaxation techniques but it is still quite a difficult request. If however, I ask you to use your mind to imagine your shoulders moving away from your neck (not physically moving at all just sending the message using your mind) the only way for your body to respond and carry out this instruction is to relax the muscles. You will notice as you progress through the mp3 this is how I get you to relax many of the muscles within your body and then using your mind to imagine moving the comfort this brings on to the next set of muscles.

Secondly, the useful twist comes with the addition of imagining numbers as you progress down through the body '5,4,3,2,1'. These numbers become a very useful trigger for each of the muscle groups to which they are attached to relax. This happens very simply by taking in a nice relaxing breath in and as you breath out seeing, sensing or imagining the numbers 5,4,3,2,1 relax. Listening regularly to this mp3 together with taking every opportunity to use this simple technique will ensure that you can easily move from feeling tense, wound up, anxious, etc to feeling calm, relaxed and in control any time you want to.

I hope you enjoy it and please leave comments to let me know what you think. This mp3 has been deliberately written for general use and is therefore not specific to pregnancy, labour and birth. If you enjoy it and would like to find out more about my Hypnosis for Childbirth set of mp3s please take a look at my shop.

This is the link in order for you to download the mp3. Please share with your friends if you feel they would enjoy it too.

The first meeting of the Hyp 'n Happening Group

Yesterday was the first Hyp 'n Happening Mums and Mums-to-be Hypnobirthing group.

I was really excited all morning and very much looking forward to it. The night before I had got the room ready setting out all the chairs (with 12 mums and mums-to-be coming along I needed to be organised). On Evan's return from nursery though she had other ideas about the layout of the room and put all the chairs in a row. She then sat herself on one of them and started chanting"choo choo choo choo". She would not let me put them back so they stayed like that until my guests started to arrive.

In total we had 8 mums-to-be, 3 mums sharing their wonderful HypnoBirthing stories, 3 two year olds, including Evan and 2 babies. The lovely Johanna from Lollipop also came along to talk about the benefits of using cloth nappies (for mum, baby and the environment).

The first half an hour was spent with mums catching up with other mums they'd met on courses (or with friends they'd referred to me so knew beforehand) and making new friends. There was a lovely buzz to the air - just how I imagined it would be. The making of tea with one kettle wasn't too bad either and in fact 1 full kettle made 8 mugs worth (no wonder Jim used to get cross with me when I filled the kettle just for the two of us. I had no idea it was that big. I must have bought a tardis kettle). Getting my mums to bring their own mugs was a stroke of genius (even if I do say so myself). Not only did it mean I had enough mugs but it was easy to make sure everyone got the right cup of tea and a simple rinse at the end with mug handed back meant I didn't have a big pile of washing up after everyone had gone home.

Those mums who purchased a Hypno Mummy mug from the lovely www.ickelbabe.com were very happy and one mum asked if the artist was coming (I wish Helen could have been there). I hope more mums want to buy them in future, they really are gorgeous!

Once everyone had their mug of tea and a lovely treaty flapjack provided by one of my mums-to-be we listened to the amazing HypnoBirthing stories. A great selection from a baby born 10 minutes after arrival at hospital and mum saying she'd only experienced period like sensations to an amazing birth following induction (and a consultant constantly saying you are never going to be able to do this without an epidural - big two fingers up at her - oops sorry for my rudeness).

A few hints and tips were also shared - "practise, practise, practise", "listen to what Dany says when she says stay asleep if you can when labour starts", "a session with Dany just before the baby was due is great for staying focused" (one of the reasons I introduced the group to help mums keep their focus and maintain enthusiasm) and the one I really love "believe in yourself, trust your body, you can do it".

There was then an 'interesting', shall we say, attempt at some relaxing hypnosis. It certainly was an opportunity for mums-to-be to see how they could focus with a lot of noise going on around them. Three kids walking in and out of the garden, Evan coming in with her garden tools staring at all the women and wondering why they were not taking any notice of her (I so nearly laughed out loud at this point), the phone ringing (twice) and Evan insisting she wanted to watch Peppa Pig. What was good to see though that despite mums-to-be saying they could hear the distraction (and of course they could) but I asked them to set the intention for it to help them focus inwards and I could see from their responses that they were in deed in a state of trance. Something useful for them to realise as conditions will not always be 'perfect'. Although I did point out that they may want to purchase a Peppa Pig video for their labour as Evan had firmly planted a suggestion that they would want to watch it - tee hee.

Johanna then showed the mums the huge variety of cloth nappies that are available now and how easy they are to use, wash and get dried. I've already had one mum say that she is now a convert as she was nervous about them before.

Mums left saying how much they had enjoyed it and are looking forward to the next one. I had the best fun although was totally exhausted at the end of it and I can't wait for the next one on the 9th November.

A retrospective look at my birth plan

Just as it was coming up to Evan's 2nd birthday and following many discussions with women about their birth plans it inspired me to seek out the birth plan I wrote for her birth. At the time I put a journal entry on Baby Centre bur recently thought it would be a good entry for my blog too. So here it is.

Because Evan was born only 1 hour 20 mins after the midwife arrived she didn't actually get to have a look at ,my birth plan but I thought it would be fun to review how close to my wishes she came (although the midwife didn't get to read it before the birth she was so excited after seeing Evan be born that she asked to take it away with her as a memento and I also gave her a copy of the HypnoBirthing book).

So this is what I wrote:

To the Midwife

There are a couple of things which you may not have come across before that are specific to HypnoBirthing so I have listed these under the labour and birthing sections. however, I’m hoping that as you are supporting me with a home birth you will already be in tune with the fact that we are looking for as natural a birth as we can and welcome your help and experience with this.

During first-stage labour

I am using HypnoBirthing and a Birth Pool during labour. As the language we hear impacts on how we feel I would like to ask that you refrain from references to “pain, hurt, etc.” and any offer of medication.

Midwife wasn't present during this stage (I was asleep mostly)

During birthing

To remain in the tub for waterbirthing if wish to do so.

I only got in for birthing. When the midwife first arrived she told Jim to stop filling the pool as it would be hours yet. Once she realised I was fully dilated Jim went off to fill the pool and he heard her saying "get another midwife here now she's about to have this baby and make sure she's experienced at water births". Although she hadn't ever experienced a water birth herself she wasn't phased at all that I was going to have Evan in the pool.

That natural expulsive pulsations of the body be allowed to facilitate the gentle descent of the baby, with mother-directed Birth Breathing to crowning. Jim will offer prompts. No coaching or instructions to push.

When the midwife realised I was fully dilated she said "you can start pushing with your contractions now". I said we don't push with HypnoBirthing and she said "you just do your hypno breathing". She then stayed quiet throughout.

Use of Hypno-Birthing breathing techniques – not other methods. I’ve left the HypnoBirthing book open on the page relating to this so that you can have a read.

Following birthing

Immediate skin-to-skin contact, with baby placed on Dany’s stomach or lower chest.

Midwife told me how I would be easily able to go from the kneeling position I was in to sitting back in the pool and she would lay Evan on my chest.

Cord to be clamped and cut only after pulsation has ceased. Yes

Jim to cut the cord after it stops pulsating.

Midwife was so excited she forgot and did it herself. We didn't mind because she had been such a wonderful part of our birth experience.

A wait for natural placenta delivery.

My midwife was very pro natural placenta delivery and she was the one who said to me your placenta is very ready to come out. And it did so very easily.

Baby brought to breast to assist placenta birth. See above.

No assisted removal of placenta unless necessary. See above.

For Baby

Allow vernix to be absorbed into baby’s skin; delay “cleaning or rubbing.”

Evan was placed straight on me and then when we were ready to get out just wrapped in a towel and handed to Jim (who she promptly did her first poo on).

All in all a wonderful birthing day for all!

My very own Hypno Mummy mugs

I am very pleased to announce that the wonderful Helen of www.icklebabe.com has designed especially for Tums 2 Mums some gorgeous Hypno Mummy mugs.

I left the design completely up to her so it was a lovely surprise to find that she had chosen to take inspiration from my website. I think you will agree with me they are fab!

Helen has also designed a Hypno Daddy mug but I haven't seen that yet - can't wait!

Hyp 'n Happening Group

I am very excited for two reasons:

Firstly, the first of my Hyp 'n Happening groups is taking place on Monday, 12th October at 2pm and I've had lots of Mums and Mums-to-be saying that they are looking forward to coming.

I have decided to set up this group for my HypnoBirthing Mums and Mums-to-be as I'd had a couple of requests asking if I knew of anywhere that Mums could meet up with other HypnoBirthing mums. I didn’t so I thought it was about time I got my own up and running.

It will be held on the second Monday of each month from 2pm to 3:30pm and besides having a cuppa and a chat there will be a bit of relaxation hypno at the beginning and then an opportunity to discuss any questions mums-to-be might have about their practise. Those Mums who have already had their babies will then hopefully share their experience and any hints and tips they might have not only about the birth but also about being new mums too. It is a new group and I'm looking forward to my 'Mums' also suggesting what they might like to use it for. There will also be some guests coming along to tell us about how they can support Mums and Mums to be and I am pleased to say that I have Chantal Fabrice coming to talk to us about 'Sound Birthing' at the group in November (Monday, 9th November).

The second reason I am so excited is that the wonderful Julie at My Life Expressed has once again surpassed my expectations with this beautiful header for my communications about the group.

I will no doubt be blogging after the first group to let you all know how it went.