Perspective!

"A mental view or outlook"

The other day Jim (my husband for those who don't know) emailed me saying he was feeling rather fed up. The company he works for recently went under and he is one of the few employees remaining that have been asked to help wind down the company. Jim is very diligent and was feeling really frustrated by some of his colleagues who were treating the situation as a free ride and were also being very negative. In his view they were still being paid to do a job and should be doing that job. With regards to the negativity well, no-one is making them stay!

I replied with a little technique that is great for preventing others negativity from impacting on you and that is to imagine a forcefield around you (I usually say cloak of protection but as he is a guy I changed it). Once you've done this you then imagine that any negativity simply bounces off of you. Once you start imagining this it is quite fascinating how you become distanced from the feelings of others and in turn their emotions can't affect you.

I then found myself writing (I say 'found' because I don't always know where these things come from, ideas appear to be stored in my subconscious and just turn up when they feel like it ;-)). Anyway I wrote "See what you want to see, hear what you want to hear and feel what you want to feel". The subconscious mind doesn't know the difference between real or imagined events and if we imagine positive things it believes those things and in turn we feel good.

My mind then wandered off to the recent Derren Brown programme I had watched about creating luck. They had interviewed the local butcher, Wayne who said if there wasn't bad luck he wouldn't have any luck. Derren then wanted to see if his belief was preventing him from being lucky and so a series of lucky 'opportunities' were set up for Wayne:

• A fake scratch card through his door that if he'd played he would have won a TV
• A woman asking questions about cuts of meat and when passers by got the answer right she gave them £20. Wayne said he'd be back in 10 minutes but despite her being there all day and handing out lots of money he never returned.
• They then put a £50 note in his path and he walked straight on by without noticing it.
• Eventually, they had an advertising van follow him that said "If your name is Wayne call this number". Finally, after seeing it a number of times he called.

His belief that he was unlucky had filtered out any possibility that he could be lucky and therefore he had missed out on the opportunities.

Later that day I was with a fertility client and she was sharing with me that she'd been away for a weekend and all the conversations were around babies and she felt very left out. Having acknowledged that women do tend to talk about their kids a lot, I told her about Wayne and asked her if perhaps she thought she might have missed out on any opportunities to have different conversations.

It is interesting isn't it? The way we perceive a situation or our very own beliefs can change how we experience our world. Why not give it a try, for one whole day decide what you want to see, what you want to hear and how you want to feel and see what happens.

Post a comment and share what you find.

If you are interested in exploring how you can live in the moment and focus more on what you want rather than what you don't want maybe a Feel good Look good workshop is for you.