Fertility Focus Telesummit 2011

Women who come to me for fertility support are normally completely overwhelmed not only by the difficult emotions they are having to deal with, but also with the different types of help and treatment that are available to them, both medical and complementary. I of course appreciate that I am included within that but at this point they are sitting in my therapy room having already decided that I can help. I am sure however that many of the readers of my blog will still be at that stage of indecision and not quite knowing which route to take and I'm sure in a sense who to trust as well.

Of course everyone will tell you that what they have to offer will improve your chances and it is hard to know where to start and what to do for the best. Every individual is different and therefore what works for one may not work for another, what you may be drawn to another person may simply dismiss. And from a hypnotherapists perspective (well mine anyway) following what feels right is a good barometer for taking a certain route. That feeling, often known as our gut instinct, is amazing at knowing what we want and need (our conscious analytical side of our brain often talks us out of it though, but that's a post for another day) and a useful side effect is that the the more you believe something will work for you the more chances you have that it will.

But it can be so time consuming to research lots of different types of support and as I said earlier completely overwhelming and this is where the Fertility Focus Telesummit 2011 comes in. And the good news is that you can attend this amazing “virtual event” at no cost!

The telesummit will feature fertility experts from around the world sharing their knowledge and insights on a wide range of fertility subjects. You can listen in to all the information-packed presentations either online or over the phone every day of the telesummit, starting on March 21st.

Click here to find out more about the Fertility Focus Telesummit 2011 including details of all the experts who will be covering a different aspect of infertility and offering great advice, ideas and solutions.

If you then decide that this event is a great way to help you move further towards becoming a parent you can book your place if you wish. Remember it won't cost you a penny.

I hope you find this useful and if you know anyone else who is struggling with fertility issues, please send them a link to this blog in case they are interested too.

Free Birth Affirmations mp3

What you spend time thinking about dictates the choices you make and therefore the actions you take which in turn leads to consequences. Whatever point you are in your life right now is a result of choices you have made in the past. Whatever you get in the future will be the result of choices you make now. Your choices are determined by what you think about therefore you are in control of what happens to you in your life by what you tell yourself your thoughts.

Taking responsibility for what you believe, your thoughts and therefore your actions is a big step forward in achieving the birth that you want (and I would go so far to say the life you want). But there has to be a desire to change. We naturally learn to filter out anything that doesn’t fit with a particular belief so what we expect is what we end up getting. If you are convinced that birth will be difficult and you believe that there is nothing you can do to change that then you may not have the motivation to look for different ways to approach your birth preparations, engaging in horror stories and negative images of birth and dwelling on negative thoughts. My guess however would be that you are at least at a point where you believe that birth does not necessarily have to be that way otherwise you wouldn’t be here reading my blog.

Affirmations provide a structured way to practise new thoughts, and a lovely starting point for helping you transform any negative beliefs about labour and birth, which is why I've decided to give this mp3 away for free.

Daily practice is necessary to become competent but in time positive thoughts about birthing will become your new habits of thinking in turn supporting your chances of achieving the birth you seek.

Taken from the Tums 2 Mums Hypno 4 Birth Programme. If you like to find out more about this programme please click here.

Flip a coin technique

Sometimes when I am working with a client they find that the cancel technique is not enough to help them move from a place of negativity and worry to one of positive thought. And I can appreciate that when you are really low, it is not always easy to imagine a wonderful event or experience in your life, just because you know that by doing so you are no longer able to focus on all your concerns and worries. It is just too big a leap!

The good news however is that there is another very simple yet powerfully effective way of diluting the worries. I call it the 'flip a coin' technique.

The idea is that your negative and positive thoughts about a particular subject are actually two sides of the same coin.

• So you start off on the negative side of the coin and 'ALLOW' yourself to feel all that negativity as much as you do - really experience it in that moment. Then you flip the coin over and whilst on the positive side you IMAGINE the BEST it can possibly be. The absolute BEST in can be - in that moment.

• Then flip the coin back over again and notice that you feel different - it may be slight but you DO feel differently.

• Then once again, feel whatever negativity there is in the moment - how you feel right now. Then flip the coin back over and once again IMAGINE the BEST it can possibly be. The absolute BEST in can be - in that moment.

• Then flip the coin back over and once again notice that you feel different - perhaps noticing a bit more of a difference this time.

• Then once again feel whatever negativity there is. Then flip the coin back over and once again IMAGINE the BEST it can possibly be. The absolute BEST it can be - in that moment.

• Then flip the coin back over and once again notice that you feel different - by now you will becoming quite amazed at how effective this technique is.

Simply carry on flipping the coin from one side to the next until you have completely watered down the negativity and are feeling positive once again.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

This is one of many ways I support my clients both face-to-face and using Skype. If you would like to know more please visit my website www.tums2mums.com

IVF success rates double when using HypnoFertility

With permission of the group admins I've just joined the IVF group on www.babycentre.co.uk. I approached them because I love supporting women on the HypnoBirth board and asked if they felt I could be of any help to women going through the IVF process.

I posted with a little introduction to myself and have been amazed at how many women have since sent me a message saying that they would love to know more. So here I am writing a blog post that I hope not only the women on the IVF board will find useful but also anyone else planning on, or in the midst of, IVF treatment.
It is first of all useful to understand what hypnosis is.

Hypnosis (the trance like state) is actually a state we move in and out of all of the time. When we drift off to sleep at night and wake up in the morning we move through the hypnogogic state, whilst daydreaming, lost in a good book or caught up in a great film we are in a state of trance. In fact any time we have our focussed attention on something we are likely to be in the state of hypnosis.

When we are fully conscious and aware we have a critical factor of the brain that acts as a filter. This filter is based on our belief system and causes us to analyse what is the best course of action for us in any one moment. When we move into a state of trance this becomes sidetracked and we therefore become more open to suggestions. This is important to be aware of because both positive and negative suggestions can get through. There is a lot of negative hypnosis about fertility. When a woman is having IVF how those in authority talk to her about what she will experience, how her body will respond and most importantly statistical chances of success can actually have a physical effect on her body.

Your subconscious mind is the part that runs your body (ie all of the functions we don't consciously control). It does this by responding to images that we create from everything we see, hear, read, talk about, think etc (we are not consciously aware we are doing this as it would drive us mad). Those images then evoke a set of emotions that tell the body what it needs to do. The subconscious primary role is to keep us safe and this is useful to be aware of when we are looking at any type of fertility issue because our reproductive processes are not part of our survival. If we have a lot of stress caused by our current life or events from our past (causing blocks that we may not necessarily be aware of) this can be interpreted by our subconscious as a message that we are in danger. In turn it can physically change what is going on in our body and prevent a woman from becoming pregnant. Even when a woman is having IVF treatment we want to ensure that the subconscious understands that she is 'safe' and in turn work with her treatment rather than against it.

So what does it feel like? That is like asking “how long is a piece of string?” Everyone experiences hypnosis in a different way. The most important thing is not to try, the more you try the more you will engage your conscious brain and will be less likely to move into the state of trance. You should simply set the intention to allow yourself to experience trance in a way that is just right for you. Instead of judging how you feel know that it is working for you, in the way that is best for you. Some people feel very heavy, others feel light and tingly and some feel nothing at all but are just aware of my voice or their own inner thoughts as they relax more deeply.

Okay on to some useful things whilst progressing through IVF treatment.

We've seen in the above explanation that your subconscious mind will respond to what you spend time focusing on so it is important prepare yourself emotionally before you commence IVF and have techniques to support you in maintaining a healthy mental attitude throughout. I would say up front though this is not about squashing difficult feelings down and walking around with a 'Polly Anna' smile on your face. This would be completely counterproductive. It is always important to experience difficult emotions but learn ways of not being overwhelmed by then.

Setting yourself a goal

Set a goal for how you want to feel throughout the process. For example 'feeling relaxed in my body and calm in my mind'. This goal will be completely personal to you. Then plot it on a scale.

0 - the worst you could feel. Based on the above example this might be 'experiencing so much tension body it hurts and constantly anxious and on the verge of tears.

10 - the best you can feel. 'Completely relaxed in my body, positive and able to progress through my day with confidence'

Plot on the scale where you are now and what you need in order to move you up the scale and stay there. This will help you maintain focus and track progress.

Practice relaxation

The following 5,4,3,2,1 mp3 gives you both a useful technique to use throughout the day to promote relaxation in the body and also provides a lovely progressive relaxation session to listen to regularly to help de-stress your mind and body.

Maintaining a healthy attitude

I always introduce 'Worry Time' to my clients. Find a 15 mins slot each day when you are allowed to worry. Let's say it is 8pm. Throughout the day if a worry turns up treat it like someone who has turned up early for an appointment. Imagine saying to them "what are you doing here, you are far too early, go away and come back at 8pm when our meeting is planned". This may make you feel a little silly but in turn it will help take the emotion out of the worry and move you past needing to in that moment. You have also acknowledged the feelings and so it will be easier to let it go knowing you can come back to it later. When you get to worry time if you want to have a good worry then do so but ONLY for 15 minutes. Then you need to 'change your state', by which I mean go and put on a fab bit of of music and dance around your front room, or have a cuddle with your partner, or a nice bath with candles - the important thing is to make it a treat and something that will completely change your mood.

Another useful technique is the cancel technique which will help you switch negative thoughts into positive ones.

Positive Imagining

You will find a detailed explanation of what I mean by this when reading about the cancel technique but here I want to specifically introduce the idea that you can use your imagination to enhance and work with your treatment. There is no need to use text book explanations for this remember your subconscious only understands imagery and emotion. All you need to do is use the 5,4,3,2,1 relax technique that you have learnt about previously to take yourself into a nice relaxing state of trance and then imagine that you are tiny enough to be inside your body (just let your imagination bring up whatever it wants - you will be surprised how easy this is). Then imagine how you want things to be. For example when thinking about your eggs imagine the best quality eggs you can. I've had clients say that they were in the supermarket and opening a box of eggs and making sure that they were all completely perfect. Another was painting hers like easter eggs and I've even had one imagine Faberge Eggs. You can imagine your uterus as the most wonderful home possible for your baby to grow. Some imagine a beautiful nursery, others luxurious textiles and colours. I've had clients do some redecoration or carried out a good spring clean. Again just allow your imagination to find things it wants to do. Don't judge what you are doing just follow what feels right.

Prior to egg collection and embryo transfer imagine everything going exactly as you want it to be. Prepare yourself to be as relaxed as you can by using 5,4,3,2,1 or listening to an mp3 if you can when at the clinic.

The two week wait

This can be a challenging and anxious time so think about some useful and enjoyable ways of spending this time. Creative tasks are especially effective for maintaining a healthy focus of attention.

Place a coloured dot on different things - your watch, phone, bathroom mirror, etc with the intention that every time you see one of these coloured dots they will trigger a positive visualisation, for example 'your baby is safe and settling in nicely in your womb'.

Spend time imagining your body accepting the embryos. All the other cells can have a welcoming party or you can see them with arms open wide and making space for them to settle in. Another lovely visualisation is to imagine them being placed in little car seats, safe and secure.

Practice relaxation every day and utilise the Worry Time and Cancel Technique.

Further support

For those of you reading this please feel free to ask me any questions about this both on reading or as you use the techniques I will be very happy to help. You can do these either on the comments section of this blog entry or on the IVF Baby Centre board.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

My plan is to write a complete IVF Support Programme (to be ready by August 2012) that will also include 'Fear and Emotion Release', "'Ego Strengthening' and specific mp3s for the different stages of treatment but I hope for now those embarking on IVF will find this blog post useful.

If I have sparked your curiosity and you would like to know more about HypnoFertility sessions please email me at dany@tums2mums.com. Should you require I offer a free half an hour consultation so that you can meet me and ask any questions you have.

I work successfully with clients both face-to-face and using Skype.

Is it fear or excitement?

Well maybe it is fear or maybe it is excitement and sometimes it is both.

What on earth are you talking about I hear you cry, but it really is an interesting question because unless we are in real danger (when of course it is absolutely right to feel fear so that we can get ourselves out of trouble) we can change the answer to suit what we want.

Think for a moment how you experience fear in your body.

Ok, now take some time to become aware of how you experience excitement in your body.

They are incredibly similar aren't they and once you realise this you can use it change your perception of something.

Words are very powerful if you say that you are scared about something then you will create images (consciously and/or subconsciously) that represent fear. Because your subconscious runs the body based on the emotions these images evoke it will actually make physiological changes in the body to get you ready for danger. This is only useful if you really are in trouble other than that it causes unnecessary stress on your mind, body and emotional well being.

However, if you say you are excited about something then you will create images that match that and trigger a whole different response within the mind and body.

Your subconscious doesn't know the difference between real or imagined events so the more we focus on the negative the more likely we are to take action that matches that negativity. If we are focussing on the positive it is a natural response to find ourselves responding more positively to what is going on in our lives.

Let's look at this from a birthing perspective. A woman who says she is frightened of her baby's upcoming birth will create images of horror stories she's heard, read about or seen. In turn this will prepare her body for a potentially difficult birth. A woman who perceives the physical sensations within her body as excitement will create images that match that excitement and in turn support her body in working as it should during labour and birth. It doesn't actually matter if at first she doesn't quite believe it because the more she focuses on excitement the law of repetition will ensure that in turn it becomes easier to believe. This is because the more we practice something the easier it becomes and in turn becomes a new way of thinking. Of course if we are thinking differently we create the images that support an easier, comfortable birth.

Change this way is easy the only hard thing is to actually do it. For a pregnant woman you can tap into the desire to have a better birth for you and your baby.

But this of course works for all areas of your life so be more aware from now on whether something is a real or a perceived fear. If it is only perceived tell yourself you are excited instead and notice how different that makes you feel.

Remember it may take practice, but if you tap into the desire that will ensure you want to make a change, the more you focus on excitement the more you will believe it to be true and in turn you will be surprised at the differences that this will make in your every day life.

Christmas Gift

I am sitting here feeling very smug and happy with myself, there are 10 days to go till Christmas and I have FINISHED all of my Christmas shopping. In fact I had actually completed buying all of my presents last Friday, although this may be due to the fact that I did most of it online so there was not too much dragging a toddler around Bluewater this year. I did however make one trip and for anyone shopping there last Friday I was the poor mum walking around with the giant dalmatian balloon floating just above my head!! Still it kept Evan happy and we just about made it through the day.

I then realised that there was one very important gift that I hadn't done yet and I am now sitting here at 5 in the morning sorting that too.

If you are pregnant I hope you enjoy my Cloak of Protection mp3 and benefit from the powerful yet simple technique it teaches you. If you are not pregnant please share this link with anyone that you know who is. You really will be giving them a fantastic present by letting them know about it.

Taken from the Tums 2 Mums

Hypno 4 Birth Home Study Programme

“Unfortunately for most women as they become pregnant their bump seems to become a glowing bright beacon for all and sundry to approach and share all their most awful and intimate stories about pregnancy, labour, birth and being a parent. The media, films, soaps and birth channels all know that calm, relaxed births are not ‘sensational’ TV and so rarely show good ones. Although ironically to watch a woman labouring calmly is the most sensational thing you could want to see.

I urge you not to get involved in negative conversations about birth, stop people in their tracks when they want to share a horror story and don’t be tempted by the birthing channels (there are plenty of wonderful hypno births to watch on You Tube).

However, as determined as you might be that you will not accommodate any of the above, sometimes you can hear or see something so quickly that you don’t have time to stop it and this is why I have included the ‘Cloak of Protection’ mp3 in this programme.

You will learn whilst listening to this mp3 how to place an invisible cloak of protection around yourself which will shield you from any negativity, causing it to bounce off of you and preventing the messages from becoming absorbed by your subconscious mind."

Please note that the link for this Christmas offer will be removed on the 6th January 2011.

I'd love to know how you enjoy it so please take the time to leave a comment on my blog.

Merry Christmas everyone xxx

Fab email from one of my Hypno 4 Birth Home Study Mums

This email made my day - I think it speaks for itself.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hi Dany,

I just wanted to say Thank you for the wonderful Home Study programme for Hypno-birthing and to tell you about my wonderful birth experience when my son was born on 21st May 2010 at 545am weighing 8lb 4oz.

When I found out I was pregnant, I was scared of how I would cope as I am terrified of hospitals and needles.

I decided to try the Hypno-birthing to change my fear beliefs.

As you predicted, lots of people wanted to tell me their horror stories of difficult labours, and I just smiled at them, convinced (brain-washed) that Hypno-birthing would make my experience different.

My hospital told me that I was not to go there until my contractions were 3-4minutes apart, so I knew I had to spend alot of the labour at home.

When my surges started, I listened to the Surges with the Sea and Fear Release and Natural Calm MP3s and practised the slow breathing.

After a few hours, the mucus plus came out, and I could feel my baby's head was so low down, that even though my contractions were still 5-6minutes apart, I had to get to the hospital. Although I wasn't in pain, just discomfort, and the contractions were not that strong.

When we arrived at the hospital, the midwife told me I was 7cm dilated! I was so relieved and excited. I was offered an epidural but I knew I would be able to get through without it, so I just had Gas and Air and my son was born 3.5 hours later.

During the last part of my labour, the midwife kept telling my husband how relaxed and calm I was (I was deep in slow-breathing meditation!), and the whole experience was just as I imagined it.

I'm so excited, that I just can't wait to start trying for baby number 2!

Thank you again Dany, your MP3s and affirmations were relaxing and soothing and I'm recommending them to my pregnant friends.

Regards,

Mel x